Thursday, June 07, 2012

She's Growing Up. They Both Are.

      Bella is officially paci free.  On Monday night, I spent some evening time out of our home and John put the girls down.  When I got home, Bella was still crying a bit in her bed.  John informed me that he was trying out a no-paci night, and lo and behold, Bella slept all night.  When she asked for it the next day, I told her we were having no more paci.  Lily looked at me and said, "Is it because she is growing up?"
      Yes - she is growing up.  They both are.  And, it is happening quickly, just like everyone in line at the grocery store says that it will.  I feel like Bella's vocabulary has blossomed in the past month, and she is starting to clue in to the world around her.  Lily is a full blown little girl, with no real traces of toddler-hood left behind (except, of course, the diaper trace).
      Like most mothers, I think I am routinely torn between wanting this stage and these moments to last forever and wanting some of the perks that will come with more independence later down the road.  They are so adorably huggable and needy right now, and when they are all grown up, they will not want to climb into my lap just to cuddle and read.  John and I always comment about how there are pros and cons to every stage, and we want to savor each one with all of its pleasures and annoyances.
      As I see the inevitability of the growing up, I am fraught with thoughts about how to make the most of these years - how to teach them the things they need to know as adults, how to show them more of the Lord and how to make the most of him.  There are so many things that I want to tell them and show them and for them to experience.

All of the sudden these years in front of us seem even shorter.

      Which means I realize that we will have to focus our teaching energies.  There is only time enough to make a few things be the priorities in our family.  I have been thinking a lot about how to build character and God's love into our children - I know the God's love part will come from God, Lord willing, but I want to give them many opportunities to serve.  If this gets in the way of some sport or other activity, I think I am okay with that.  I am realizing that the heart is what matters - that is the eternal part of them.  I want our children to have opportunities that build into all parts of them, and opportunities that allow them to be poured out, since that is what I hope their lives will look like some day.

Many days I am still hoping that is what my life will look like.

      Sort of simultaneously heavy and exhilarating thoughts to have this Thursday.  We are so early and seem to have so much opportunity in front of us still.  I pray the Lord will give us his grace and heart for our children.  We certainly need his discernment to know what matters, since I feel like I screw that up all the time.
      After Lily asked me if Bella was growing up, she reminded me that I said that Bella would sleep in the same room as Lily when she was bigger.
She asked, "Will that be this weekend?"
I said, "No, baby.  Bella will not be big enough to sleep in your room this weekend."
Lily: "What about in a minute?"

I am afraid it will feel like it.



Mom Spenst said...

I can so relate to what you are thinking and feeling. I remember those times of wanting time to stand still so I could treasure every moment and then those times when I was ready for the next stage! :) We are praying for you/John to have wisdom and discernment with/for your girls. You all are doing a great job!!