Tuesday, June 17, 2014

THINGS I WANT MY KIDS TO KNOW: LOVE

We are settling into the routine of summer, which means we are settling into a lack of routine.  There are certainly pros and cons to this, just as all things in life, and I am trying to relish the good (sleeping in) and get through the bad (extra whining).  I wanted to write that I am trying to thrive in every moment, but that just wouldn't be true.  Some moments are just bad.  They are sanctifying and for my greater good and all that, but they are no fun, and I would just be blowing sunshine to say otherwise.  I'll spare us all the superfluous sunshine.

I've been spending some of the extra time getting caught up on our photo-books.  I just finished all the kiddos 2013 books, and I started their 2014 books, because strangely enough, 2014 is almost half way gone.  (What?!?)  Obsessive might be a good word to describe the way that I approach photo organization.  Or neurotic.  (I wrote a blog post a while back about how I organize photos that I will try to link when I find it.)

If you're reading this blog, you probably have guessed that I take a lot of pictures.  I like to have things documented and recorded.  For a stretch, I was producing a photo book for every six months of my children's lives, and then I did the math and realized that no one needs or wants 36 detailed photo books handed to them upon high school graduation.  That pace is also not sustainable with four children, so for now, while the kiddos are little, I am doing one book a year for each of them.  That pace may slow down as they get older and have fewer photos taken by me, because less of their life will be lived around me.  (insert equal parts tears and gladness)

All of this got me thinking about the WHY.  Why do I feel the need to do this slightly obsessive documentation?

I realized that having a parent die right in the middle of their life taught me that I may not always be here.  Cancer runs heavy on both sides of my family, and unfortunately, it has claimed many lives far too young.  Each of my parents had a parent die during their childhood as well, so there were two grandparents that I never met  When I think about it like that, I am really grateful for all of the years that I did have my dad.

I don't think about it morbidly most of the time, but I do realize that my time here on earth may be shorter than I hope it will be.  That's everyone's reality really, but I find that I am more acutely aware because of my family's history.

With that said, I've realized that I want my children to know how much I love them - how precious they really are.  I've been given these treasured gifts, and for this time right now in our lives, we have each other, and I am so thankful.  I want to give them the gift of memories through the pictures that they cannot yet remember for themselves.

I've decided to write a little summer series of things I want my kids to know, because that is one of the reasons that I blog - to leave behind something for my children.  Right now I am healthy with tons of energy, and I hope to stay that way, and right now, I can do this.

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Afterlight

Dear LBV&W,

The most important thing is that I hope you know how much Jesus loves you.  He loves you the most, because he invented love.  No matter what you do or say - he will always and forever love you and want to be your friend.  He died to save you, and he wants you to choose to follow him.  I hope and pray that you will want to love Jesus back, but, it will be your choice.  Just know that he will always be there for you.

The other most important thing for you to know is that we love you.  Your daddy and I love you so very much and want only the best for you.  We will not do this parenting thing perfectly.  We cannot, because we are in no ways perfect.  We are learning a lot along the way.  But, we will do our best, and we are so thankful that God has entrusted each of you into our care.  Please know that no matter what happens, good or bad, we will always love you.  That's what it means to be in our family.

We are so excited to see the people that God is shaping you each to be!  It is amazing to watch you grow and develop.  Having a front row seat to your childhood is an extreme privilege.  We are bumbling our way through discipline and lack of sleep and doctor's appointments, but it is ALL worth it.  Because each of you are worth it.

If you never read anything else from me, please read this and know how deeply you are loved.

Love,  Mom

2 comments:

Kelcie Huffstickler said...

I envy your photo organization! I have no system whatsoever. At least I'll leave a blog to my kids, I guess. :)

Darcy Stingerie said...

Here you go - http://johnandcarolshow.blogspot.no/2011/05/organizing-photos.html