COMMUNITY

For all of the hard things in our life right now, I am so thankful to have the rich gift of precious friendships.  My friends literally keep me afloat in the craziness through prayers, group texts, lunch dates, working out, sleeping over, hanging out and double dating.  This is not bragging, this is just stating facts - we have great friends, and we regularly count our blessings in this department.

Back at the beginning of March, the guys had their yearly campout/canoe trip, which they thoroughly enjoyed.  This year they canoed 30 - THIRTY - miles.  It doesn't sound relaxing to me, but they had a great time.

Past D-Group Weekends

{2017} {2016} {2015} {2014} {2013}

While the guys were gone, we ladies got together for sushi one of the nights and dinner with all the kids on the other night.

We've had several other occasions to be together over the last several of months, between family on family dinners -

mom/kid sleepover when the dads are away for the night,

girls' night or lunches out,

and double dates.

When I feel sapped and drained from the run-of-the-mill parenting/work/life gig (a lot of the time currently), there is nothing like time with friends to rejuvenate my spirits.  We've also realized that our kiddos often do better with other families in the mix, and now that everyone is getting just a bit older, it is easier to do things together than ever before.

Keep in mind, these friendships take work and intentionality.  They do not "just happen."  But, it is worth every bit of the work, and we regularly reap the rewards in spades.  So grateful for friends who push us towards the Lord and make us laugh and love us in the midst of our messiness!

TURNING 37

I'm a wee-bit behind on the blog, which is pretty symbolic of everything else in my life.  There are emails in my in-box, shirts that need to be returned, paperwork that needs to be filled out - not to mention the usual piles of laundry and dishes.  (To be fair, those are both sort of under control, because John has been helping and our house was cleaned today. 🙌🏻)

All of that to say, my birthday was over two weeks ago, and I'm just now blogging it. 🤷🏻‍♀️  The other fact of this particular matter is that turning 37 is just not that exciting.  I'm smack dab into my "late" 30s and inching ever closer to the big 4-0.  Life feels like it is both on fast-forward and slow-motion at the same time.  I look up and another day is gone, but certain afternoons can stretch for an eternity. It's just where we're at.



My day started as many Saturdays do, with children piling onto me in bed.  They were so excited about celebrating me, which truly did warm my heart.  The girls had been obsessively making sure they would have time to shop for presents for me and get me stuff I actually wanted.  This included them creating a plan they pitched to John to "trick" me into telling things I would like to receive during dinner.  The thought they put into it all was precious.  We ate a quick lunch at CFA and headed to Loblolly to celebrate with the kids.




In a sad turn of events, we ended up heading to NW Arkansas on my actual birthday, because Papa's memorial was the next day.  The upside of this is that I got to see all of my siblings, mom and step-dad on my birthday, which is unheard of these days.  We went out for an adults only meal where laughing was actually the top thing on our menu.  Having adult siblings that I sincerely adore is one of my favorite surprises life has granted me.


(There were several pictures where my bro was acting like a normal human, but the rest of us all had white eyes, so I picked this one that is probably more true to life anyway. 🤣)

I never get tired of having a spring birthday, because the flowers are usually blooming their hearts out, and we often have some sort of spring break fun up our sleeves.  However, spring often brings some residual sadness for me (which I've written about before but cannot for the life of me find to link 🤦🏻‍♀️), and this year has been worse than others.  There's been a perfect storm of the regular spring gauntlet for me, plus the added stress of where we are at parenting wise.  Let's just say, it's a good thing I'm going to see a counselor regularly.

I've never just excelled at balance, and trying to hold the pain in one hand while holding all the joy and goodness in the other has been a challenge lately.  In all of this, the gifts in my life far outweigh the pain.  That was driven home to me so clearly on our weekend in NWA when I was surrounded by so much love and reminded of just how faithful the Lord has been in my life.

Cheers to 37!

HE GAVE ME MY DAD

On March 13th, a faithful soul passed into eternity.  It's been hard for me to explain how and what this means to me, because he was not actually a relative of mine.  But he was family, nonetheless.  He was at the hospital when I was born, and he was at our home in Kansas on the day my own father died.  I called him Papa, and I call his beautiful bride of 60 years, Meme.  It had been several years since I had seen him, but his legacy in my life is so strong, and it is sad to know that his light and love is no longer in this world.  My longing for heaven got just a bit stronger upon hearing the news.

Because of the early death and brokenness in both of my parents' homes, Meme and Papa became my surrogate grandparents.  I remember beach vacations with their entire family where we road-tripped and all had code names to use over the walkie-talkies - maybe I was "Little Squirt"?  I was so little that the details are super fuzzy and come back more as warm remembrances of being showered in love and laughter by many adults whilst basking in sunshine.  Sunday afternoons meant lunch at their house after church with what felt like the rest of the church.  Their house felt like home to me, because of the way they welcomed us all in with open arms.

Their family provided me with a host of surrogate uncles and aunts as well, and these people are all so dear.  In fact, one of Papa's sons provided me with my very first job at CFA, and that has obviously been quite impactful in my current life.  It is truly amazing to see the way God works throughout the course of life and weaves stories and people and places together in a way that only he can.

John and I had the ability to attend Papa's memorial service the last weekend of our spring break, while John's parents graciously kept our children.  My mom and step-dad and all of my siblings also were able to come, so we had the double bonus of seeing my entire family.  The service was extremely well-attended with standing room only, and it was a wonderful celebration of his life.



It was a joy to see so many wonderful people that have known me my entire life.  I was sort of overwhelmed by the amount of preciousness there in that room.  It was like time-traveling back 30 years and putting all of those people back together - so many of my parents' friends who had also helped to raise us.  They were knit together so closely by the Lord and love, and I was privileged to watch as they prayed over Meme after the service - women of God, bound together by prayers and tears and years and laughter and the Gospel.

My life without Meme and Papa seems unimaginable.  They taught my dad what a Godly family could look like as they welcomed him in.  He spent countless hours and days that turned into years with them all when he was living in North Little Rock as a single man so long ago, and when he moved to DFW and met my mother, he sought their approval of the new woman in his life.  My parents went on their honeymoon and then extended it by meeting up with the Clark family on the beach.

They mentored both of my parents and poured time and wisdom into them.  Several of the grandsons spoke at the service, and the oldest one said that of all the wonderful things that Papa was to him in life, the greatest gift that Papa gave him was a loving, Godly father of his own.  It struck me then - Papa also gave me my dad.  My father learned so much about the Lord and what a family looks like from Lewis Clark, and it has forever and always impacted my own life.  I'm so very grateful.



At Papa's memorial, one man who had known both Lewis and my father so very well made the comment that they were probably having biscuits and gravy together in heaven.  Someone else had remarked on Facebook that Lewis and my dad were likely in heaven on a beach together.  Either way, I know they are in heaven together, worshipping the Lord and waiting for us all to join them in the place where tears are no more and we live in joy forever.  Oh what a glorious day that will be.

EASTER 2018

The weather promised to be rotten.  The kids woke up at 6:30 a.m., because one child went in to "check on" the others.  There was a giant Airhead chucked at my face while I was still in bed.  John and I had felt off most of the week.  Someone didn't want to wear his Easter clothes, even though we had made a deal the day before.  Safe to say, our Easter was not off to an auspicious start.

"Can nothing be fun or good or easy ever?"

This was my selfish, short-sighted, honest thought as we drove to church.  I knew we should be celebrating our risen Savior, but I felt that I was drowning in failure and sadness.  Which I had spoken aloud to John by the time 7 a.m. had rolled around.  I knew the clothes did not really matter, but I always have the cutest picture in my mind of what things "should" look like.  Expectations vs. reality had reared its ugly head again, and I was forced (am continually forced) to choose contentment.  To choose gratitude.  To choose hope.

Easter always comes at just the right time.  I think I need Easter every day - though I could certainly do without the mass influx of candy that accompanies it.  Tears rolled down my cheeks as I was reminded that the stone was rolled away from the tomb.  It really did look hopeless - like there was a horrible ending to a promising, albeit troubled, story.  Jesus' road to the cross was certainly not paved in roses, even as there were miracles - actual miracles - along the way.  He was dead and buried and being mourned, as people tried to figure out what could possibly redeem this mess.

No one imagined.  Even though Jesus told them it would turn out all right.  No one dreamed he would beat death and rise from the dead.  When I look around at the pain and uncertainty around me, I have no idea how glory will come from some of the ashes.  My finite mind cannot comprehend the height, the depth or the overwhelming glorious power of God's love and his ultimate plan.  He will someday come back and fix it all, and though I don't understand how, I trust that he does.  He has done it before, and he promises to do it again.

And in our own very small Easter story this year, the day slowly transformed before my eyes.  The weather looked threatening but mellowed into something resembling delightful.  Our children mostly enjoyed most of what we did most of the day, and we played and rested and it was as good, easy and fun as it ever could be for us at this stage.  

So, as you see these pictures, please know that this is one snapshot of one good afternoon.  The one I had today (Monday) included many more lows than yesterday and was far more normal.  But, our Easter did turn out beautifully, and I'm so thankful.  We enjoyed our church service and our pastor's April Fools joke of "accidentally" dropping a computer on stage, which I totally bought.  We even got a picture at church in front of the pretty backdrop, which felt like an Easter miracle, even if William wasn't wearing what I had initially planned. (I am learning which battles to pick.)

As we drove home, we noticed the wisteria blooming everywhere in our neighborhood and managed to get some pictures with it.  May Easter mercies never cease.

John's parents so graciously hosted us for Easter lunch, complete with Resurrection Eggs and an egg hunt.

We then moved to the trampoline/playing all over the yard portion of the afternoon that lasted right up until we decided to do dinner there as well.

(Leaf blowers can give and leaf blowers can take away.)

We won Easter this year, but much more importantly, we have the hope that Jesus won it all for us.  Forever and always amen.