CARTI FESTIVAL OF TREES FANCY FUN

This year, with our friends' new job at CARTI, we decided it would make a great time to get involved with some of their special events during this week, the Festival of Trees.  Truthfully, I've long wanted John to be able to go to the Sugar Plum Ball with some/all of our girls, but the dates have never worked out before.  This year, he was able to take all three girls who were over the moon excited about a special night out.

I let them pick their dresses from Amazon, and they came complete with a hoop petticoat.  😂 But, they looked adorable and felt so special.

The event had some highs and lows.  At one point, they had to evacuate due to a fire alarm, and Lily was wailing that they were going to die.  🙄 Obviously.

After 20 minutes, they were allowed back inside.  And though the fire alarm did go off again, they did not have to evacuate a second time and got to enjoy all the fun of dancing and eating and partying with friends.  It will be a cherished memory for them.  Bella led the conga line like the little extravert that she is, while Lily and Violet enjoyed dancing and seeing friends.

Last night, John and I headed out to Tux N' Trees, and I loved the opportunity to get super dressed up.

It was a beautiful event with decorated trees, a silent auction, a delicious dinner and some fun dancing.  We also got to hear the story of a current cancer patient who reminded me so very much of my father.  This man has terminal brain cancer and has four (relatively young) kids.  His humor and persona are compelling, but his love for the Lord and testimony for him were the most moving parts.  We were honored to sit with he and his wife at dinner and blown away by the way they are handling this hard road so graciously and in a way that is so honoring to the Lord.  It was a visceral reminder of how fleeting this life truly is.

Thanks, CARTI, for putting on excellent events this week and more importantly, for providing so many tremendous resources and care for your patients!

GETTING COUNSELING & PERSPECTIVE

(I felt like this was such a calming scene.)

Today I sat down with a counselor by myself for the first time in 16 years.  The last time I went to counseling was just in the wake of September 11th which had come months after my father's pancreatic cancer diagnosis.  My mind and soul were in crisis, and the counseling was really helpful to get me back on track.

This time around, I can honestly say that I am not in complete crisis, which I am incredibly grateful for.  John and I like and love each other.  So many things are going right in our lives, and I never get over feeling thankful for the gifts the Lord has placed in front of us.

That said, it has dawned on us recently that we are deep into our lives (for our age), and we have gone at pretty much everything very intensely.  My counselor confirmed this, so I know I am not being totally dramatic.  😜  We've had a business for 10 years.  We were gifted 4 children within 4 years, and then got a second business.  We introduced the added layers of adoption and being a transracial family and all that it entails.

Basically, our lives are full of wonderful, challenging, encouraging, heartbreaking, good and hard things.  It's all mixed up together, and sometimes, it is a lot to take in.  In recent months, John has begun meeting with an executive coach who is also a licensed therapist, and it has been a real answer to prayer.  We need perspective and help.  When I saw all the help he was getting, I decided that I could also use the help and got myself an appointment with a local counselor.

There have been times this year when it has felt as if we were drowning.  Drowning in stress.  Drowning in work.  Drowning in the ways that we make things hard.  Drowning in the things that are actually hard.  Again, it should be noted that neither John nor Carol does anything halfway, which has major pros and cons.

So today, I sat on the comfy red couch in the calm office and poured out our stories.  There was comfort just in telling it all to someone new.  We have the dearest and best friends and family who have walked so many of these stories with us, but it is really helpful to have someone that exists completely outside of our sphere to look at it all afresh with me.  It's like we are the frogs in the boiling pot, and we've boiled most of the people around us too.  I needed a frog who could get dropped into the pot and jump out right away.  So I found my new frog.  To help me process.  To ask questions and make observant comments.  To be encouraging.  At the end of our session, she prayed with me as tears rolled down my cheeks.

I want to stay in the game, and we've fully realized this year that the stress level that we've had for the last many years is not sustainable.  As we made the effort to slow down and rest, it has become that much more apparent that many things lie underneath the surface that need to be addressed.  There are habits and misperceptions about life and the ways that we enter situations.  And also recognizing that there may not be massive changes to make on the outside of our life, but we have to make some changes on the inside to be able to continue in a healthy way.

So here's my plug for counseling and getting perspective and help.  If you feel in any way like you could benefit from it - take the plunge!  I'm so looking forward to more sessions on the red couch with my new frog.

WRAPPING UP FALL: HIGHS & LOWS

We are one week out from Thanksgiving.  Where did the fall go?  Why am I forever surprised at how fast life whizzes by? 🤔🙄

I figured it was time for another High/Low post to wrap up our fall fun, since this delightful season is almost at a close. (seriously - what happened?)


(not pictured: the rest of the awesome Grandma who let her grandkids bury her in leaves)

High: We really did have a blast at JBU Homecoming weekend back at the beginning of October.  Seeing old friends and family never disappoints.

(college friend turned cookie friend!)

(they are both really tall)

High: Our friends really are so wonderful.  John and I regularly remind ourselves to be overly grateful for the people we walk through life with - seriously.  It is by far one of the greatest gifts we have been given.  None of these people are perfect and none of the relationships are perfect, but there is a lot of grace and a lot of love and a lot of people who are there if you need them.  And I do.

Low:  My thumbs are so very black.  I need tips on how to keep my mums alive next year.  Or maybe I just need someone to come and care for them for me.  Or I need fake mums.

Or maybe I am just going for the dried look!  I like to keep y'all on your toes. 😜

High:  John has gotten some sweet date times in with three of our four kiddos - Violet will be up next for her one on one time.  He took William to a PJ Masks Live show and Sonic - which was William's favorite part of the night. 🤣  He took Bella to Barnes and Noble to pick out some books and then to Purple Cow for milkshakes.  And he and Lily climbed Pinnacle, and we are learning that Lily's got some major hiking skills since she scampered up the mountain in record time.

Low: The Dodgers lost the World Series.  Obviously, we were very invested in this series.  Game Seven was hugely disappointing in our home.  But, we did watch with friends, and we did have the most amazing Dodger Dog Bar.  Face paint made an appearance, and I had balloons and baseball paraphernalia borrowed from my neighbor.  The Dodgers had a great season, and if someone had to beat them, the Astros seemed like a pretty great team.

(Violet was all of us.)

High: Courtney and I celebrated her birthday a few weeks late with a spa morning, and It. Was. Amazing. 🙌🏻

(No make-up, post massage, post facial, post pedicures and so very relaxed)

Low: Parent Observation Day at Dance class.  Because Violet thrives on routine and having me in the room is too much for her, this day throws off everything.  And William didn't want to go in because "I'M NOT A GIRL!" So, yeah.  We were a spectacle and then some.  But, Violet did perk up and participate in tap and stretching, so it did turn around towards the end.

High: The budding kindness I see in all of my children.  The twins attend a developmental preschool, which means they are surrounded with children at all levels of development for their age.  In their class alone, there are several kids in wheelchairs with varying levels of needs as well as a couple of kids with Down Syndrome.  I LOVE that this is the environment they are in, and I LOVE when I get to see them loving on other kids.



I've also seen Lily and Bella step up their kindness towards William and Violet who have difficult moments - as we all do.  It is so encouraging to see Lily help Violet up and down from a stool or for Bella to make sure William can walk through our woods.




Obviously, they all have rough moments and certainly are regular siblings, but this is a HIGH, not a LOW, so I don't have to cover those.

High:  Getting a visit from our Rwandan friend, Joel.  Next time, we just need him to bring his precious wife, Annie!  Or, we just need to plan our next trip to Rwanda.



High/Low: This is the time of year when all of the school activities ramp up.  I love getting to see the girls during the school day.  I detest when they ask me for a loan for $70 more worth of pledges so they can get a bouncy ball from the Fun Run.  When I said that we could go to Target and get a bouncy ball for $3, then there were tears, declaring, "You never take me to Target!" 😂😒 Also, that's patently untrue.

Welp, that pretty much sums up our fall.  We're heading into Thanksgiving ready celebrate gratitude and food.

MAIN STREET STUDIOS FALL SPECIAL PICS

My blogging has slowed considerably this year for a host of reasons.  My kids are getting older, so I don't choose to share as much, and the rhythm of our lives has changed a lot in the past six years that I've been updating.  Still, there are certain moments and stages that I don't want to forget, and this blog is one of the best places for me to record them.  Along with some of the minutia of our daily lives, I'm sharing the Fall Special pictures that Luke of Main Street Studios fame took.

This photo shoot was weirdly easy and good and took less than 15 minutes.  Every child smiled willingly and enthusiastically - there's another thing that I want to remember.



Let's start with Violet.  I never want to forget about the current play-list that she would like to play all day every day if we let her.  It starts with Fight Song, continues on to the Chick-fil-A song and rounds out with Itsy Bitsy Spider and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star.  No one said her tastes were stagnant.  Violet also regularly proclaims her love for Mr. Adam (this goes all the way back to our Rwanda trip).  It is amazing how many ways he can be mentioned, and he comes up multiple times daily.

Violet also literally somersaults around the house anytime she is getting from point A to point B.  I think we have a tumbler in the making.  She is enthusiastic about cleaning, though this usually does not have a net clean effect which is not for lack of trying.  When she is excited, she will bow her head and shake her arms to show it, which we regularly have to explain to people, and you can often find her belting out the Moana theme song.



William really is all boy, and we do all we can to encourage that, since he is the lone boy in our pack.  He likes to say, "Mommy, Mommy, Guacamole" or "Francie, Francie, Guacamole" sort of randomly - though he will follow that up with declaring his love - he is so very affectionate.  His affection can be pretty tightly regulated, because if you go in for a kiss, he will often say, "I want a kiss tomorrow, not today.  Only a hug today."

Currently, William is obsessed with the sword that John made him to go with his Captain Donut costume, and he will usually have some collection of Duplo Lego superheroes in tow.  In recent days, William has declared shirts with buttons to be "bad" and shirts without buttons to be "good."  I'm not a huge fan of the way this nets out during wardrobe choice, but we are working through it together and learning to compromise.



Bella is killing it in 1st grade.  Red Ribbon week was last month, and it provided a few excellent quotes in our house.  For example, Bella said that they would be "celebrating drugs" at school that week.  😂 That meant they got to dress up each day, and she went as Batgirl from last year's Halloween costumes, except that she added a sign that said "NO DRUGS" to her cape.  Basically - she's winning at life and certainly catching the messages at school.

Bella loves to be with people and is forever saying hi and also being recognized by others when we are out and about.  She's also beginning to pray in such sincere and earnest ways - I find myself so grateful as she prays "for God to be glorified in everything."  She also prays for us all to have fun all the time, so we're definitely still grounded over here.

Lily is my little book worm with a loud voice and lots of enthusiasm.  Many nights around the dinner table we do an "IF" question - these often lead us to thinking and sometimes yield hysterical results.  When asked, "If you could be the current world champion in any one sport, which sport would it be?"  Bella quickly chimed in with "soccer!"  Lily said, "Piano," and when we asked for a sport, not a musical instrument, she said, "Flute!" 😳🤣  We might need to do a little more explanation about sports and maybe re-enroll her in piano lessons.

She really does read voraciously, and I make almost weekly trips to the library to keep her well-stocked on books.  It's so fun to start to introduce kids to literary worlds that I love, and I'm hoping to spend more time in the next year all reading together.  Lily is also highly responsible, and I've been so impressed to see her work on projects and take care of the computer that she uses at school which she must charge every night on her own.  She has only forgotten once all year - I can't say that my record on stuff is usually that good.



I love these four - far more than I ever even realized that I would or could.  It feels like my heart beats in and with and for them, and I hope and pray that John and I can continue to steward their hearts and minds in ways that are helpful to them and pleasing to the Lord.



Thank you, Luke, for these cherished pictures!

For more of Main Street Studios pictures of our family, click here!