Friday, February 24, 2012

Confessions of a Sometimes Delinquent Mother

      Yesterday, I took the girls to the doctor's office for their well check-ups.  Here is where I must confess - I missed Bella's one year check-up and apparently, her 15 month check-up as well.  Bella had a really mild ear infection near the one year mark, and I just didn't get around to taking her again til yesterday.  And, I am two months behind on Lily's yearly check-up.  "How did the appointment go?", one might ask.  Welp, apparently, in the year that has lapsed since Lily's last check-up, she has decided that having to do anything at the doctor's office is not for her.

      Kind Nurse:  "Miss Lily, can you step on this scale?"
      Lily:  Lots of screaming and crying
      Me:  "Lily, if you step on the scale I will give you Oreos.  Do you want Oreos?"  (I happened to have some in my purse.)
      Lily:  More screaming, paired with whimpering and edging farther away.
      Me:  "This is not how we act.  You need to pull it together and stop screaming.  Do you understand me?"
      Lily:  "Yes, ma'am."  More screaming.
      Kind Nurse, who is starting to get a little annoyed since it is late in the day:  "Look, Bella wants to get on the scale.  The scale is fun."  When this produces only more wailing from Lily, she turns to me and says, "We are going to have you hold her on the scale and then weigh you separately."

Here's the good news.  Both girls are in excellent health, which I am so grateful for.  Bella was really sweet until her five shots.  The doctor's office was running on schedule, and so things, mercifully, did not take a really long time.  Lily did not need shots, thank God.
Here's the funny news.  Lily weighs 29 lbs.  Bella weighs 27.5 lbs.  Awesome.
Here's the bad news.  Lily looked like this anytime the nurse or doctor touched her or really even spoke to her.


I am shocked that her blood pressure was not through the roof with this kind of reaction.  This picture makes me laugh really hard, especially since it looks like I am laughing through the horror of it all.  I really didn't think it was very funny, but this moment, when I was trying to distract her with anything, did prove to be entertaining.  Then, the nurse went through the check-list of all the things a normal three year old should be able to do.  Lily is a go in all areas.  Except for one.

      Kind Nurse:  "Is she completely potty-trained for both day and night?"
      Me:  "Not even close.  Not even a little bit."
      Kind Nurse, who is now eyeing me skeptically since I clearly was overdue on check-ups for my younger child and cannot get my older child to behave AT ALL:  "Are you working on that?"
      Me, what My Internal Monologue Said:  "Of course I am working on that.  I know that she should be potty-trained.  Clearly, she is smart and capable.  Maybe instead of looking at me so disapprovingly you should give me a few pointers or at least be sympathetic that it might be a difficult thing to do with a stubborn child."
      Me, what I actually said:  "Yes, we are working on it.  Basically the behavior that you have seen here is what we get during potty training."
      Kind Nurse, who is very grateful that she is not the one giving out shots this afternoon, so she is almost done with us:  "Oh."

      As we were wrapping up our session o' fun, Bella had to get a ton of shots, since I had missed a couple of check-ups.  Fortunately, these went quickly, and she stopped crying quickly.  Here's Bella post-shot.  She is mostly upset that I am taking a picture of her and not holding her, but by this point, I knew this was an adventure that needed to be documented.  So, she is self-soothing by rubbing her belly button.


When it was all said and done, I did find out that actually, my delinquency had paid off.  They told us not to come back until Bella's two year check-up, because of the way the shots need to be given (or maybe they just do not want to have to see us again for as long as possible).  I managed to cover three well check-ups with one, which feels like a giant win after how miserable it was.
      As we were leaving, Lily asked if she could have an Oreo.  I said no.


Morgan Smith said...

how am i just now reading this?!? i just burst into laughter. my annette and your lily really seem too similar in their ability to be controlled ;) i feel for you in reading about the doc appt. i've hired a babysitter to go with me in the past! it was the easiest appt ever. unfortunately, it's not that practical to do every time : ) !