THE FOOD THAT WASN'T

Today is really heralding the arrival of fall and the delicious wonder it brings along with it.  I, along with most of the known universe it seems, adore this time of year.  The weather is fabulous, and there is such jolly seasonal fun to be had from now through the holidays.  The only tragedy that mars this fact is that it goes so quickly.  I feel like I am normally walking quickly through the airport of life, and when October 1st hits, it feels as if I start running on one of the people moving conveyor belts, fairly whisking me right through.  I want to be able to savor it and drink it all in and thank God for the beautiful moments that it contains, and that will definitely have to be a discipline in the midst of the crazy fun.

Last night, we had a good friend who happened to be in town over for dinner.  I was planning on whipping up some fish tacos, with a side of fallish corn muffins and some home made guacamole.  I wasn't budgeting my time real well to start with, and then our guest arrived 20 minutes early, not realizing how close to our house his hotel was.

Into the oven went the muffins.  The fish was cut, seasoned and ready to be cooked.  The other toppings were chopped and ready.  We were chatting about life.  And then I started with the avocados.

Sometimes things just aren't meant to be, and I should have been able to see this coming.  But I didn't.  I never do, when it is going badly.  Over the years, I have learned how to cook and bake.  My parents taught me a great deal of baking, and after being married, I have picked up a lot of cooking.  My overconfidence serves me well in this area, because I generally feel like if I have a recipe, I can accomplish anything.

But, there was the first time I tried to make my family's cinnamon rolls for John when we were married, which is funny on several levels.  First off, now I know he doesn't really love cinnamon rolls.  Secondly, as I brushed the melted butter over my dough, it started running off.  I was not deterred.  I didn't realize that it was not going to get better with the addition of cinnamon and sugar.  As I was rolling that dough, a mixture of butter, cinnamon and sugar began dripping out, eventually forming its own little river and cascading down the counter and cabinets.  Saying it was a mess does not go far enough.  Now I know that the butter should be softened, not melted out right.

There was also the time that I made dessert for someone we were having over.  We didn't know her well, but I regularly try out things for people I don't know.  When else would I be motivated to try new things?  I made a recipe for White Chocolate Brownies, which sounded like such a lovely treat.  I decided to throw in extra white chocolate chips for good measure, not knowing that there can be too much of a good thing in this instance.  That was the sickliest plate of sugary mess I have ever served up.  I stopped our guest from feeling like she needed to eat it as soon as I tasted mine.  I did laugh over that later.

Back to the avocados.  I bought them sometime last week and thought they would be ripe, but I forgot to set them out of the refrigerator earlier in the day to soften up.  So, I started trying to cut and peel rather unripe avocados.  They were having none of it.  Again, I should have known and stopped, but I persisted.  I just kept investing time, and then I felt like I had spent so much time, I had to have something to show for it.  I kept peeling the avocados, little piece by tiny piece.  At one point, I even threw avocados into the microwave to try to get them to soften up a bit, which the guys thought was so strange, and I guess it was.

After finally getting the meat of the avocado into a bowl, it was time to try to mash it into guacamole.  It was not mashable.  It was so hard.  I tried mashing it wish a potato masher to no avail.  Then, after the struggling, I decided to throw it all into the food processor, which is what I should have done to start with.  Round and round it went, but it was still having a hard time being chopped.  I used a spatula to try to get it all cut up.

At long last, we were ready to serve dinner.  The dinner that I was just "whipping" up.  I stuck a spoon into the food processor, cause I am really classy like that, and at that moment, I realized that the spatula was missing pieces.  Pieces that were on when I started the process.



The whole thing was a debacle.  John and I actually ate some, but our guest politely and appropriately declined.  I couldn't bear to throw it all away, because I can be economical like that, so now, reposing in our fridge, sits the guacamole with the added ingredient of spatula.  It takes pretty good - just be on the hunt for little blue spatula shards.  And never, I repeat, never try to work with avocados that are anything less than perfectly ripe.  It will not work.