Thursday, December 29, 2016


We drove home from Wichita Monday night only to leave John, three kids and most of the stuff at the house so Violet and I could drive to the ER to get her breathing monitored.  This seems to be a common occurrence when we travel, which sucks, since we love traveling.  Hopefully it will be something that she grows out of and that we learn how to better manage.

Monday night we were there from about 9:45 pm - 1:15 am.  We got the usual treatment for respiratory distress.


Sadly, by late Tuesday afternoon, I could see that she was not improving the way she should with the medications that she was receiving.  After dinner and more breathing treatments, I called the medical exchange line, and they told me to head back to the ER. 😞😩😩


While I did NOT enjoy having to spend almost eight hours there over the course of two evenings/early mornings, Violet and I did get a lot of sweet time together.  She was mostly very cooperative and pleasant - though she detests being suctioned.  And she only fell asleep at the very tail end of Tuesday night.  We left the second night with a better plan and more recommendations of what to do next.

Parenting really is SO tough.  There are a million things that I could have done better along the way to avoid the situation that we found ourselves in, but because life happens, and she was doing fine, some of those things fell by the wayside and some of them have never come up before.  It's easy to blame yourself or second guess your actions when you become an ER regular two nights in a row.

And it seems so unfair that a child who already is fairly high engagement would have myriad medical issues that also need to be addressed.  There are so many things that she deals with, and John and I have to constantly remind ourselves that it is much worse for her than it is for us.  Selfishly, I just want her to be better, because it is a lot of work for us.  I spent a full hour this morning doing all of her medications and treatments (which is not at all the norm).  Then, I feel guilty, because some parents deal with so many more things.  There are guilt and selfishness traps set all around this situation, and I am prone to falling in them all.

So I try to return to the truths that I know.  God has a perfect plan for her, and we were placed as family for one another for so many reasons that I don't even know yet.  We need each other, and I feel privileged that taking care of her has been entrusted to us.  We love our Violet with all that we have, and she loves back just as hard.  I'm so thankful.

It does seem that she is currently on the mend, and it helps me breathe a sigh of relief to see her breathing normally.  Here's hoping we can skip the ER for the foreseeable future!