Back in May, John and I had a
Spenst Summit which yielded some helpful long-term changes - especially around the way we do dinner time. I am pleased to report that while dinner does not happen perfectly every night, we are achieving more dinner success on a more regular basis, so that feels like a win. It's nice to make changes and see results. We are still working to make Sundays our day of rest, though with the amount of traveling we did this summer, as well as certain activities that fell on Sundays, this has been more hit or miss than we might have liked. But, today, John and I slept on the couch for almost 3 hours while we were awoken by our children only a few times. 😴🙌🏻
One of the other things that I have been slowly coming to grips with is that parenting takes an ENORMOUS amount of time and energy. See, all of my children are now in school, and I really think I believed that I would magically have all this new-found free time. hahahahahahahahaha.
I do get a lot more quiet time in our home, which I appreciate so much - especially in light of just having a summer with very little quiet. And, I am able to organize time more efficiently and not go to the grocery store with children and finish laundry (*on a good week), when they are not here.
HOWEVER.
Parenting is so intense that I need those full 35 hours a week to recover from the hours that we spend together. Some of this is the season that we are in, the personality make-up and ages of our kids, some of the unique challenges that we have and the fact that we are all, every last one of us, sinful people trying to live together and serve God and make it in this world. We all have our own agendas, and *sometimes* they do not line up.
As I become ever so slightly more seasoned as a parent, I realize how little I really know and how very little I control. I grow in humility - not necessarily as a result of increased spirituality, but instead as a function of humiliating experiences in public with one or more of my children acting like a crazy.
Case in point: the twins had their four year check up at the doctor's office last week (only five months late and only because they had to have it for school paperwork, otherwise, I never would have realized that we didn't do it 🤦🏻♀️) They needed to take their picture to have on file, and from that moment on, William screamed/yelled/cried about 2/3 of the entire experience. Violet chimed in whenever she thought he needed help protesting, though on the whole, she was pretty sweet. But, neither wanted vaccines (who does?), and William managed to tense his legs so much that he bent the needles. 😱
Everyone in that office gave me sympathetic looks, and I heard "bless your heart" more than once. By the time we got home, I was done. D - O - N - E. I called John, and he graciously agreed to meet the kids and I at our usual Mexican restaurant where the staff knows us by name and take care of us very quickly. We ate dinner starting at 5, and the kids were in bed by 6:45 p.m., and I still felt like I needed days to recover. But instead, I started it all again the next day.
I do know enough to know that this will pass - both the bad and the good things of this season are fleeting. I've had other strong-willed four year olds - though I've never had two at a time, and I can't say I highly recommend that particular experience. Now the others are strong-willed six and eight year olds, and while we have new challenges, they are often a little easier to reason with. Until they aren't, or until they kick a hole in the wall. (that happened a couple of weeks ago 😳)
Basically, I've come to understand that during this season, I actually don't have a lot of extra time. It takes an enormous amount of energy and intentionality to parent well. And, the stakes are high. I'm the only mom that Lily, Bella, William and Violet have right now, and I want to do it well. I'm asking the Lord to help me use the time he's given me in ways that glorify him and serve my family well. I've continued to cut back on some of the extra things I've been involved in, simply because I only have so much energy. It will not always feel like this. But right now, it does.
All of that said, we do have a lot of sweet moments right now, and I'm not looking forward to those passing. We get a lot of "I love yous" and cuddles and hugs. Parenting is the hardest job ever, but it is so worth it.
