INTENTIONALITY

I logged into Blogger and hit "View Blog," and realized that I've only posted 3 times in the month of September, and this month is already waning. 😱 We are creeping ever closer to October which officially starts the holiday slide effect where each week seems packed more fully with exciting events of some sort or another that consume lots of time and energy, and then I wake up on January 1st and wonder how 2017 passed so quickly.  Maybe its just me, but if you have small children or any children, I imagine it's probably you, too.

Since school started back in August, I've spent a lot of time thinking about how to spend my time.  I've prayed.  I've talked to John.  I've started bullet journaling (which I super love and plan to post about soon!).  Last year, I sent all of my children to school and for the first time in years, I had breathing room in my life.  Every day, there were 7 "blank" hours where there used to be children.  I made no secret of the fact that I was devastated about all of my children heading to school at the same time.  That lasted about a week - maybe less if I'm being honest. 😂

Every family and every mother and every season is different, but for this season and our family, having everyone in school works out to be a massive blessing to us all.  I LOVE it.  Each of my kids loves their school, and they are thriving in their classrooms.  I do not take this for granted and am so grateful.

Last school year, it really did feel as if all kinds of time and opportunities were opened to me.  I went to Rwanda with a group of like-minded women.  I made a TON of cookies.  I revved back up my involvement in the non-profits that I work with.  I even worked a tiny bit at the restaurant - such a tiny amount that it was laughable, but I can now work our updated register system. 👊🏻

However, as summer hit, and we wrapped on that first full school year this May, I realized that I was just as exhausted as when all the kids had been home.  It was like instead of doing arm workouts all the time, I switched to all leg workouts, making sure that I was still wiped out.  Turns out that those seven blank and childless hours go by SO QUICKLY.

Please hear no complaint from me.  I understand that my position of stay-at-home mother with all of her children in school who does not HAVE to work is one of extreme privilege.  Because of how John and I have chosen to divvy up our work load, most of the house stuff falls to me.  I need to plan meals and make sure that everyone eats.  I do the laundry.  I pick up the house.  It all takes time, especially if I want to do it well.  I also try to workout regularly and see some friends during the school hours to stay physically/socially healthy.

Basically, all of the stuff that I was doing with kids at home still takes a lot of time whether they are with me or not.  And, now that they are in school most of the day, I would prefer to focus more of my energy on them in the hours that we have together after school and on the weekends.  Last year, I tried to stuff in too many other things on top of what it takes just to run our home well and be present with my young children.  

So, I've tried to approach this year more cautiously.  I've signed on for less.  I'm trying to pace myself, because, as it turns out, I'm running a marathon - not a sprint.  I'm still winded from the sprinting of the last few years and working to break some bad habits.

One of the verses that has been pivotal in our lives has come back to me during this time.

1 Thessalonians 4:11 NIV

.. Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands. ...


cuff by FarmGirl Paints on Etsy - I 😍 her work.

I'm not sure what about me leads me to want a LOUD life in unhealthy ways.  We all have tenancies within ourselves that lead us down paths that don't end well.  I want to be noticed and do all the things and win life in every area all of the time.  Is that asking too much? 🤦🏻‍♀️

Yes.  Yes it is.  And often, it isn't honoring to the Lord.  In many cases, I end up seeking honor for myself - usually not intentionally, but by default.  So, I'm looking to quiet my life for the time being and do the things that HAVE to be done well and be very careful about what I add on top of those.  

As I've examined myself, I've been reminded how much I love writing.  I kept a journal starting in 6th grade that I updated very regularly.  Writing has always been a healing way to express and work through what's going on inside my brain.  With that said, I'm hoping to spend more time writing here and sharing some of this journey.  I've noticed that in the last couple of years, I've mostly posted about things we've done and less about thoughts I'm having, and I'm looking to mix up that ratio moving forward.

So - here's to being intentional and quiet and doing less so that I can be more.  I'd love to have you along for the journey - what are some ways that help you to live quietly?