QUARANTINE CHRONICLES: NEW KITTEN

In these dark times, I'm looking for some sunshine in our lives.  Almost five years ago, one of our cats died, and due to the fact that we had a lot of very young children, we decided to limp along with the one remaining cat and not get another one.  When life turned much harder a few weeks back and we realized how much we would be at home, John graciously agreed that getting a kitten now actually made sense.

Meet Simba Q. Spenst.
Q represents the quarantine we are currently under.

We're obsessed.

Obviously, kittens do not fix everything.  We miss our people and routines badly.  I've had a couple of meltdowns as we have restarted schooling this week.  But, Simba is SO sweet and social and wants to be in the middle of everything, always.

He makes being home almost all the time sweeter for everyone, and I am super grateful for him as a bright spot.

I hatched this idea on my birthday and quickly realized that finding a kitten during the pandemic may be a bit tricky.  But, after a little searching, I located a litter of small kittens available at the animal shelter in Searcy where they were letting people in one family at a time with social distancing in place.  We went and picked out this sweet bundle of fluff.

He's 8 weeks old and healthy and so far has done great!  He loves to play, but he also sleeps all night. Seems like a pretty good combo in my book.

Our other cat, Francie, is not yet a fan.  She is pretty sulky and growly, but I know they will warm up to each other and end up best friends.  It may take a while, but we've got time.



Hope you enjoy kitten pics.  It not, sorry not sorry.  He's super cute, and we are in love.

QUARANTINE CHRONICLES: MY 39TH BIRTHDAY

I turned 39 on Tuesday, and since the whole quarantine started, I was dreading it.  We were *supposed* to be in the Bahamas swimming with dolphins on my birthday, so the realities of not being able to travel or be with friends certainly made things look a little different.

b

John graciously offered to do a Disney day at home where we wore our Disney clothes and ears and watched Disney movies and made Disney food.  To me, that sounded even more depressing, though he was trying so hard.  Ultimately, we decided to go do one of the only things still open in Central Arkansas - Garvan Gardens.

As we headed in, I called a local pizza place to pickup an order.  After the 3rd call (I am nothing if not persistent) they answered and said they were not open for another 15 minutes and couldn't even take my order over the phone until then.  I got off the phone and started crying.  Like a lot.  I was trying to not cry, because no one wants to see their wife or mother crying on her birthday.  But, I couldn't help it.  I was so sad about everything being so hard and not what I had imagined.

We regrouped, let the kids run around outside a bit, and I pulled myself together.  I vowed to make the most of the day that could be it's own kind of special.  I called the pizza place back, and it really is good pizza, and I know that all restaurants are trying their best in this super bizarro world.

We made our way to the gardens where there is ample room for social distancing and all indoor spaces were closed.  The tulips were in full bloom, and it was gorgeous.  I knew we would be better off doing something that was delightful in its own right.

The weather turned out to be lovely, and there was hardly anyone there which has to be the only upside of the Covid-19 crisis.  We had a pretty normal time for our family with highs and lows, but mostly, we were able to enjoy the day together and the spring glory that is a well-manicured garden.  It was truly so beautiful.

While my birthday was wildly different than I had hoped, it was its own kind of lovely.  My family celebrated me so well, and I heard from so many friends and family.  Lily made me a card that said, "Sorry for your loss," which is hilarious and so on brand.



We rebooked our cruise to next Spring Break, so hopefully, I will get to celebrate 40 in the Bahamas. Though, aren't we all learning that our plans are not our own?  I hope and pray that we will get to return to "normal" life, but I am working to actively be grateful for the gifts that this strange season brings.  Some days I am better at it than others, but I am trying.  That's about all that I can do at this point, and I am starting to see the light a bit more in my mind, even though there still seems to be plenty of quarantining in front of us still.  Taking it one day at a time seems to be the only way I'll be able to walk through this.

For all of that, I am glad to be 39.  It does feel as if each year teaches me so much at this point.  A lot of it, I wouldn't actually want to learn.  But, I can see that I am imperfectly growing in wisdom and grace, and that is something to always be grateful for.

QUARANTINE CHRONICLES: GRIEF

(This photo is me working towards normal even during this chaos.  I've realized that sometimes, washing my hair and putting on makeup do a world of good for my inside as well as my outside.)

We're a full week.5 into parts of our new reality.  As the Covid-19 timeline goes for us, two and a half weeks ago, things were still pretty normal.  That next Monday, we started wondering if we would take our Spring Break trip.  Each day of that week brought news that changed the world dramatically.  By the end of that week, we were living in a different world entirely.

Last week brought us trying to settle into our new normals of homeschooling, mostly sheltering-in-place, social distancing and uncertainty of how long all of that will last.  We've closed down our mall restaurant, and we're running drive-thru only at our free-standing restaurant.  NONE of this was on our minds 3 weeks ago.  It's a lot to take in, and it all happened so suddenly.

I've tried to adjust to the new normal, but I've found my emotions about it to be all over the place.  Mostly, I've realized that I have a lot of grief about what has happened/is happening.  You're probably familiar with the Five Stages of Grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.  As I look at it, I've spent most of the last week bobbing between Denial and Anger, and I've started cycling towards Bargaining and Depression as well.  Every morning I wake up and realize all over again that we are in the middle of an unprecedented worldwide pandemic that has shut down our country and many normal parts of our lives.  It feels like something has died.



As I've Marco-Poloed and talked with friends all week, I've heard so many people feeling the same things that I am.  It's confusing and overwhelming.  We want to make the best of things, but find ourselves feeling angry and discouraged.  We know that it could be a million times worse - we could be going to war.  But we have all lost our normals, and we need time to grieve that.  I've had to learn to pay attention to what is going on inside of me and honor the feelings that are there.  The stress and anxiety that these times hold are real, and though there will be gifts that come out of this season, I cannot move straight to those without acknowledging all of the very real losses.

I have a love/hate relationship with all of the social media response to this.  I have loved the constant supply of memes.  As we ALL go through this as a society, we have to laugh through it, and I have appreciated the steady supply of humor about Covid-19 to be found online.  I have hated all of the posts about how we are just being asked to sit on a couch.  To be honest, I've been mad that this whole thing happens at a time when I have four children that need a lot of oversight and attention at almost all times.  I would be sad, but mostly fine, if I could just do house projects and watch television and work out.  That is NOT my life.



It's also hard to reconcile the inequalities that are glaring during a time like this.  I am not worried about feeding our family, and it is both mind-blowing and also comforting that John's work is considered "essential."  We have an income that continues during this time, and I am so thankful.  I can stay home with our children and not miss work.  However, there are SO MANY people that are affected much more deeply.  It's hard to be sad about the way my own life looks right now and also recognize how much harder it is on people who had it harder to begin with.

I know I will move towards Acceptance as we walk this journey all together.  There are a lot of sweet moments, and I'm working to be present and appreciative of the special time we do have together.  But I'm also letting myself be sad when I need to be.  It will pass, but I know that I have to pay attention to those emotions.  They will find a way out one way or the other.  So - if you are in a similar place, this is just a reminder to give grace to yourself and others.  None of us has ever done this before, and we're all having to figure it out together, separately.

QUARANTINE CHRONICLES: THE WEEKEND BEFORE AT WYE MOUNTAIN

We're all stuck in this crazy weird world for the time being and doing the best we can.  To be honest, this is super hard for me.  For everyone.  It's easy to play the suffering Olympics in my head of how it's harder for me with four kids, including two with special needs, that I am suddenly in charge of every moment.  With no opportunities to play with our people regularly and make this feel a little better.  Plus, we have two restaurants that are incredibly challenging to navigate during this stretch, and we are trying to make sure we are taking care of our people and our guests to the best of our ability and as safely as possible.  And we should be leaving for Disney tomorrow instead of hunkering down for the foreseeable future with no end in sight.

HOWEVER, I am reminded regularly of how grateful I am for so much of our life.  We will likely be fine when this is all over, and I know how privileged I am on so many fronts.  There are a ton of unknowns, but for me, they do not include where our food will come from or if we will have enough money to pay for housing or if my spouse will lose his job.  I am not a single parent trying to balance working and suddenly having kids at home.  I know there are much bigger problems out there than I am facing.  But I am still facing my own difficulties, and I'm figuring out how to honor the sadness in my own life while also being thankful.

Earlier this year, I started a Gratitude Journal inspired by Laura of PitterPatter Art.  (I link to her stuff in this post with more details)  This year has been BRUTAL since it started, and the Lord knew I needed to focus on things to be grateful for.  I'm thankful for thankfulness and the way it reshapes how I think day to day, and I would encourage anyone else struggling right now (all of us - amirite?) to pick up something like this if you think it would be helpful.  I already love looking back at it each night, and I'm only 2.5 months in.

One of the little projects I've decided to do is catch up on photos and some on the blog, and our annual trip to Wye Mountain is always a post I love to write.  This was the Sunday before last, and it was the day before the world started to really tilt.  It's the last day I remember thinking March was going to go ahead as planned, and honestly, I was having a hard time with normal life at that point.  I had no idea it was about to get much worse.




But, we had a beautiful day at the Festival, which was busier than we've ever experienced, because the weather was gorgeous.  Way back from when people could be together.

I do love seeing how happy it makes the kids to run wild in the field.  It's just so beautiful.

I do enjoy looking back at things that are happy and to be hopeful that we will get to do fun things again at some undetermined future point.

I love looking back, and it is crazy to realize this is my 10th Wye Mountain Daffodil Post - Cannot even believe it!

{2019} {2018} {2017} {2016} {2015} {2014} {2013} {2012} {2011}

I am hopeful that we can make it through this Coronavirus experience one day at a time.  In the meantime, I'm going to work on thinking happy thoughts and being grateful for the little things.  And all the big ones.