HOW OUR FAMILY IS

Every family has a rhythm.  There are patterns that duplicate time and again.  Because the same personalities are there, grooves are worn.  Words are repeated.  It can often feel like we are always singing the same song with only slightly different verses.  If there was a graph for how things usually go when we are together, the line would follow its already charted course.

Here's a high level overview of what that usually looks like for us right now.  I say high level, because I am not going to publicly throw any of us under a bus, so certain names/details will remain a bit obscure to protect us all. 😏



First, one of the adults has an idea for an activity for us all.  The other adult is usually pretty willing to go along with whatever plan, because sitting at home is almost never relaxing for us.  Out and about and moving typically feels better.  We have very active kids, and unless we have on all screens at home, usually at least one child is complaining about boredom.  And though we don't feed that mentality, we do have to recognize the limitations and make accommodations.

In this case, we decided to do a walk to see one of John's favorite views of the Little Rock skyline.  We knew it was going to entail a fair bit of walking and all dressed accordingly.  The weather was fall perfection, and it was the perfect time of day to catch glorious sun rays all along the way.

This is both a metaphor for our life and our actual life that we have to find a lot to look at along the way.  Each of us notices different things, and we really appreciate when we have and make the time to notice.

Some people walk faster than others - continuing on with the metaphor and the reality of things.  We have to encourage, prod, try not to get annoyed and often pick up certain people.  Certain siblings are more patient than others.

The view was worth the walk.  We love our city, and seeing the skyline from this vantage point was a real treat.



Once we had seen the view, we did have the long walk back.  There were differing opinions/excitement levels about this part of the walk.  John and I had to get more creative to help keep the whining at bay.  The water bottle was passed around extensively to quench the massive thirst created during this walk on a paved path in the city in 65 degree weather.  We turned on a dance party and found fun ways to make it back without anyone totally losing their cool.  (This is the point where things can either turn really south or possibly stay level.  We were very fortunate to stay level this day.)

It involved creating a game where twins basically got to slide on the pine needles or leaves whilst being dragged by older family members.  Amazingly, this had the desired effect of entertainment and movement in the right direction, a rare win/win/win.

We made it back to the car, in various states of mind over how that went.  We think it went well - mostly?  I add the question mark, because even though it was supposed to be relaxing, it took a lot of work.  That's just the way of things in our family right now and probably always.

When we said yes to adoption and four kids and the rest of our life that we clearly signed up for, we didn't know it would be this hard.  It takes a toll on each of us in our own way.  Just last week, I sat in a new counselor's office for one of the kiddos, because we still need a lot of help.  As I explained our family's story, she said it was like an elaborate web involving lots of people and complexity.  I had to sit with that concept for a few moments.  It did feel like an apt way to sum it all up.

Did we count the cost of everything when we barreled into this life?  No.  We absolutely did not understand that we were trading in our sanity.  Some days we wish we really would have understood our choices, if I'm truly honest.  Work is hard.  Family is hard.  The combination often feels like climbing an insurmountable mountain with no summit in sight.  It's only up.  Keep climbing seems like the only answer, but we're out of breath.

For now, we'll keep climbing and passing around the water bottle and holding on to one another and the Lord.  What we are doing is worth it, and when my head is screwed on straight, I cannot imagine any other way for our family.  I'm infinitely grateful that God put us all together, and I know that trading sanity and comfort here on earth for things that matter eternally is the right choice.  It comes at a high cost.  But the view is spectacular.