DISNEY TENSION & LIFE INSURANCE

We are going to Disney World in February, and we are literally counting down the days.

The girls are so excited, and let's be real honest here - I am super excited.  For the trip, we will have four adults and two kiddos, which sounds pretty amazing.  And, though I know the girls will still have hard moments, even at the "Happiest Place on Earth," I really believe they will overall have a great time.  They have been involved in their own wardrobe planning for the trip, which has involved several conversations about which princesses they should dress as on which days.  It's really all quite precious.

But, and I am going to be really honest here again, I find myself torn.  I think that I am glad about the tension inside of myself, but I sometimes wish I could take life a little less seriously.  I mean - it's a trip to Disney World.  Who doesn't want to do that?  And, I do want to do it - that's not the tension.

The tension is this:  I do not want my children believing that Disney World is the peak of all that life has to offer.

I realize that most of the responsibility for this lies with me, the parent.  I want them to have a great time and enjoy it, but I don't want life to feel empty when it's done.  As I've wrestled in my heart with this, I've realized that I want them to know that life is about so much more than a fun trip - though it is an amazing blessing and perk.  Life is about loving the God that we serve and loving others.  

I know teaching them about eternal things and setting their eyes on things above is harder than counting down the days to Disney World, and that is why I find it easy to get trapped in doing what is easy.  I am hoping and praying that they see the Lord in our lives and the different ways that we pour them out.  We are trying to involve them in service, and I know that as they grow older, the opportunities we have to teach will expand.  We talk about people that live differently than we do, and we try to help build a world perspective into them.  Adoption has been a great way to get them asking questions and thinking differently.

And though I pretend that my kiddos need these lessons more than I do, it's something I am still learning and battling.  Yesterday, a guy from our life insurance company came for us to review our policies.  We went through all of our finances and heard more options about socking away money for the future.  It all sounds so good - to have money tucked away for the unknown future and be masters of our financial destiny.

But - this is also not where life is at.  At least, it's not where God wants us to live our life.  We do want to be responsible and plan for the future - especially for our children.  But, I don't want our security to be there, and I also know that we need to be giving a lot along the way.  I firmly believe that we have been blessed to be a blessing and for us to hoard a bunch of money for our future would cause us to miss out on so many giving options all along the way.

Colossians 3:1-2

Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.  Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.

That is far harder than it sounds.  In fact, I think it will be a lifelong journey and battle.  Until then, I will count down the days to Disney and make life insurance decisions while asking the Lord to continue working in our family.  He knows what is best for us, and I believe he will continue to show us what those things are.

IT'S ALL GRACE

In honor of the polar vortex that is sweeping our nation yet again, I am posting the pictures I took back on Lily's birthday.  Since I came down with the stomach bug later that night and had the birthday party that weekend, I never got around to using these pictures.

In my normal day to day life I don't have a large amount of time for introspection.  And, when I do have time for looking within, I often don't look that far or deep.  My mental energy is usually taxed and spent.



Our church is going through Galatians and talking about grace.  They are preaching it from the pulpit, and we are reading an excellent book on it in our small group.  I have been a Christian for as long as I can remember.  It has been an accepted fact in my life.  But, as an adult, I can see that really, truly grasping God's grace is a lifelong journey.

It requires me looking inside and seeing the depravity in my own heart.  I don't have to look far for that.  I only have to remember back to yesterday.  My selfishness rears its ugly head time and time again.  Sometimes it is more subtle and "justifiable" and all the more dangerous for it.  I want "me time."  I don't want to mess with the logistics and realities of potty training or the heart work that goes along with it in our house.  I don't want to be flexible when my husband needs to change plans.  I don't want to wash the bottles again.  I don't want to put a Puff in my baby's mouth every 45 seconds.  I just want to be left alone to craft, peruse Pinterest and blogs and spend money online for things we don't really need.

But God will not leave me in that state, and I am so thankful.  My default is so ugly.  I don't get things right in my own strength, and even if they look right on the outside, I can assure you that my heart is a mess.  I want people to notice me and sing my praises, though I hate to admit it.  I am not a people-pleaser, but instead, I expect and imagine that people will hold me in high esteem.  It's not pretty in here.



But his grace covers it all.  All of the ugly.  Grace transforms the ugly, wintered woods of my heart into something beautiful.  Something fresh and new and only from him.

Several times over I have read the idea that the longer I walk with God, the more I will realize my need for him.  I don't look better, but slowly and surely, God is transforming my heart, and part of that transformation is realizing my utter need for him.

So, today I am thankful.  It's all grace.  The good and the bad that happen - all of it.



Jesus came to bring the dead to life, to trade a heart of stone for a heart of flesh.



I need to preach this to myself daily, hourly, secondly, because I quickly forget that all is grace, and it is a free gift that I may humbly accept.  Thank you, Lord.

THUMP THUMP, CRUNCH CRUNCH

These are the sounds of my life right now, and this little post will help me remember it many years from now when this time is a hazy fuzz of forgetfulness.  Anytime one of the big girls tattles on the other, John and I look at one another and say, "Thump thump."  We decided that is the sound that is made when someone gets thrown under the bus.  We pretty much say it all the time.

"Bella was hitting me."

Thump, thump.

"Lily won't share the puzzle."

Thump, thump.

"I am sick of Bella talking.  And, she colored on the wall/book/table/floor/couch."

Thump, thump.

"Lily is not answering me, and she pulled my hair."

Thump, thump.

I'm sure other parents with preschoolers can relate to this.  John actually said, "I am so glad that I know that other kids tattle, otherwise, I would just think that ours were extreme tattlers."  I'm pretty sure that's not the case.  I imagine that they are both extraordinarily average in this area, and we basically ignore it and/or send them back to deal with it themselves.



Good thing they are so cute.  Bella's potty training has taken many twists and unfortunate turns in the past several weeks.  Currently, I am letting her wear the much coveted Frozen dress on days when there is success and progress.  Otherwise, it hangs in the bathroom, far from reach.  Today there was success, so we shall celebrate today and small victories.

The other sound that epitomizes my life right now is "Crunch crunch."  That's the sound that is made when you step on a wayward Cheerio or Puff.  And many seem to have lost their way in our home.



Though they usually start in the kitchen, I am amazed at where I will step on them.  This Puff travel is facilitated by older sisters who will bring Puffs to babies in many locations in our home.  And then I step on them.  Inevitably.

But, who am I to deny Puffs from these faces?  Not on my watch.




This is the soundtrack of my life.  Well, these sounds and Frozen music, obviously.

REDISCOVERING MEAL PREP

Last year, we found out about the twins and normal life ceased to exist.  I did not plan for meals.  It was like food happened to us, and I am still not exactly sure what we ate from about March 25 to late December of this year.  The meal calendar that lives on our refrigerator was stuck on the week that  the life storm of twins came through - much like the calendar at the glass factory when a storm wiped it out.  People graciously brought us meals for several months, and I know we've had a lot of CFA, but other than that, it has been pretty patch work.

So, at the beginning of this month, I decided it was time to reclaim dinner time.  I am capable of making meal plans, and it is so helpful when I actually do it.  I don't run into the constant problem of 4 p.m. reoccurring every day, like it so often does, and me not having any clue what we will eat for dinner that evening.  And, it seems like the people at my house expect to eat dinner every single night.  So high maintenance.

I looked back in my Evernote from last January.  Side note: do you use Evernote?  If not, then you should.  It's like a magical note keeper/life organizer/list maker app that you can use on your phone and computer.  I especially like to use it when I am party planning to keep track of everything, and it has proven its worth in the meal planning biz as well.

This is what it looks like when pulled up online.



I plan for three weeks at a time, and I have figured out that actually cooking 3 meals in a week is what works for us.  We usually eat out for one dinner a week, and eat at CFA for another one, and the other nights we can do leftovers or breakfast for dinner or pull out a freezer meal.  I like a lot of variety, so I went back to Pinterest and looked at the fun recipes that I have pinned, and I put those links into the Evernote, so I can pull them up from my phone while cooking.  This works well for me, and I love it.  It has felt really good to have a plan again, and we are certainly eating much better than we were.

Some of the things we've had in the last three weeks that I rediscovered a love for and would highly recommend are:
Grilled Pork Chops with Balsamic Caramelized Pears
Spinach Tortillini Soup
Panera's Stove Top Mac N Cheese
Tiramisu Toffee Dessert

In other food related news, I bought a food dehydrator.  Here was my reasoning.  Yogurt Melts are expensive, even the off brand.  I thought to myself, there has to be a way to make these cheaper, and with four kids eating them, I need to.  After researching at-home-freeze-drying, which is not a thing, I discovered that you can dehydrate yogurt.  I don't think my first attempt is going to be successful.  I forgot to look up instructions until after I had already put the yogurt on the paper.  All sites recommended lightly greasing the paper beforehand.  So, then I sprayed Pam onto the yogurt drops in a desperate attempt to save them.  They are drying right now, but I don't think it's going to work out.  However, there is great hope for the future, and since the dehydrator cost me $30 on Amazon, if I make enough Yogurt Melts to fill 10 bags worth, I will regain my investment.

I would like to figure out how to dehydrate other stuff too, but I haven't gotten that far.  I also didn't account for the bulk of the thing, and I am not sure where it will be stored when not in use.  These are serious first world problems.

Well - if you were needing some inspiration to start meal planning, I hope this helped!  And, if you were going to start making your own yogurt melts with a dehydrator, I hope you have been warned against randomly spraying Pam over yogurt.  It does not look appealing.