TARMAC MOMENTS

Our trip to Disney was truly magical - it was.  We had so much cherished time together and will carry wonderful memories away from it.  I'm so very grateful we had the opportunity, and we enjoyed a lot of our time away!  Re-entry, however, was brutal, as is often the case.  It was a rough come down.

On the way home, things got turned a bit on their head.  The flight between Orlando and Dallas was about 2.5 hours - not terrible, but definitely a longer flight.  Our flight schedule had been changed after we booked it, and our layover in Dallas was set to be shorter than we had anticipated.  We needed to move quickly to make our next flight.

As you might imagine, moving quickly as two adults is one thing.  Moving quickly with four kiddos in tow is another thing.  We had to change terminals, which involved the Skylink, which involved very long escalators that can look pretty intense to little eyes.  Our chaos unfolded little by little as one child and then two were on the escalator, and one child and then two were running, while laughing, in opposite directions away from the escalator.  Needless to say, we were a spectacle, and it took a bit to all be back together.  Thankfully, everyone was fine and eventually made it down the escalator.

We made it to our next gate in plenty of time, not realizing that things were being delayed due to the rain.  We ended up sitting on the tarmac in the plane for over an hour and a half, or maybe a day and a half - I'm not sure.  We might still be there.  We had gone through, or gotten bored with, all snacks, most technology, and we had been at Disney for almost a week.  None of our children were at their finest, and one in particular was letting it all hang out there.

We did get called out over the PA to have the child "standing in the aisle to please sit back down and stay buckled." The fact that this pronouncement came in a British accent did not make me feel better about it.  John and I were beyond done at this point, and both sort of shrugged our shoulders at each other, because WHAT ELSE CAN YOU DO?

Someone near us in the plane helpfully remarked, "I don't think that's going to go well."  There is nothing quite so fun as being in a confined place where all of your parenting and struggle becomes public consumption for those around you.  It is a strange mix of humiliation and horror at the lack of control.

We did finally take off and make it to Little Rock and home, obviously.  Mercifully, both twins fell asleep on the flight, because we were all exhausted.  As I recounted this experience to my counselor last week, tears poured down my face.  It was, and is, painful.  We don't have all the answers yet, even though we are getting all the help.  We may never have all the answers to the best way to handle every situation everywhere that we go.

It's hard to be on display.  It's hard to have children act out in public.  It's even harder when it seems that those around you have opinions about that.  The hardest thing is that right now, whether public or private, there are things we are working through that we cannot get a handle on.  In my best moments, I trust the Lord and lean into him, knowing that he put us all together and is working in and through us.  In my worst moments, I become really angry about how hard it is and how I don't know what to do.

As I have continued to learn about myself (I'm looking at YOU, Enneagram), one of the things that is most challenging for my personality is to lean in to the pain.  I want to distract, avoid, gloss over, run around and/or just pretend it isn't happening or that I am not feeling it.

There was no escaping that plane.  We were all stuck in it together, and you know what?  Eventually, the plane took off.  We even had the unexpected boost of other planes having to leave the line, because they had run out of fuel, so we went from 25th in line to 10th very quickly.  (though I did feel bad for those other planes😬)  So, my current challenge from my counselor is to pay attention to the pain.  To be quiet and know that while it will not last forever, I need to acknowledge it now.  And that in the pain and the quiet is where I meet the Lord.

We're calling them "Tarmac Moments" - has a certain ring to it, no?  For me, it rings true.  When I go back to that plane in my mind, I remember that we did finally take off and land, and that things are okay.  Sometimes there is no escaping, but it will not last forever.  And God did carry us through, because he is good and faithful, always.  Whether you, or I, are stuck on the tarmac or have managed to take off and land, I hope and pray that we lean into the pain and the Lord.