QUARANTINE CHRONICLES: MY 39TH BIRTHDAY

I turned 39 on Tuesday, and since the whole quarantine started, I was dreading it.  We were *supposed* to be in the Bahamas swimming with dolphins on my birthday, so the realities of not being able to travel or be with friends certainly made things look a little different.

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John graciously offered to do a Disney day at home where we wore our Disney clothes and ears and watched Disney movies and made Disney food.  To me, that sounded even more depressing, though he was trying so hard.  Ultimately, we decided to go do one of the only things still open in Central Arkansas - Garvan Gardens.

As we headed in, I called a local pizza place to pickup an order.  After the 3rd call (I am nothing if not persistent) they answered and said they were not open for another 15 minutes and couldn't even take my order over the phone until then.  I got off the phone and started crying.  Like a lot.  I was trying to not cry, because no one wants to see their wife or mother crying on her birthday.  But, I couldn't help it.  I was so sad about everything being so hard and not what I had imagined.

We regrouped, let the kids run around outside a bit, and I pulled myself together.  I vowed to make the most of the day that could be it's own kind of special.  I called the pizza place back, and it really is good pizza, and I know that all restaurants are trying their best in this super bizarro world.

We made our way to the gardens where there is ample room for social distancing and all indoor spaces were closed.  The tulips were in full bloom, and it was gorgeous.  I knew we would be better off doing something that was delightful in its own right.

The weather turned out to be lovely, and there was hardly anyone there which has to be the only upside of the Covid-19 crisis.  We had a pretty normal time for our family with highs and lows, but mostly, we were able to enjoy the day together and the spring glory that is a well-manicured garden.  It was truly so beautiful.

While my birthday was wildly different than I had hoped, it was its own kind of lovely.  My family celebrated me so well, and I heard from so many friends and family.  Lily made me a card that said, "Sorry for your loss," which is hilarious and so on brand.



We rebooked our cruise to next Spring Break, so hopefully, I will get to celebrate 40 in the Bahamas. Though, aren't we all learning that our plans are not our own?  I hope and pray that we will get to return to "normal" life, but I am working to actively be grateful for the gifts that this strange season brings.  Some days I am better at it than others, but I am trying.  That's about all that I can do at this point, and I am starting to see the light a bit more in my mind, even though there still seems to be plenty of quarantining in front of us still.  Taking it one day at a time seems to be the only way I'll be able to walk through this.

For all of that, I am glad to be 39.  It does feel as if each year teaches me so much at this point.  A lot of it, I wouldn't actually want to learn.  But, I can see that I am imperfectly growing in wisdom and grace, and that is something to always be grateful for.