I Have a Problem

      Well, here I am, not wanting to write about what is on my mind.  Here goes.  I have a problem.  I am sinful and have an ugly heart.  I really like myself - a lot.  (I think I probably like myself more than a lot of other people, to be really honest.)  It truly is my desire to see people the way that Jesus does, with love and compassion.  But I don't.  I see their shortcomings.  I see missteps.  And I am inwardly critical.  I felt a need, a compulsion even, to confess this publicly, because on this little blog I can look a lot better than I am.  I can give a snapshot of our world and only show the good parts.  And I can feel good about myself when I look through it and see all the stuff I have done.  Which is wrong and sounds so incredibly ridiculous when I write it out like that, but it is true.
      So, I am coming clean.  I do not have it all together.  I may have made dinner last night that was tasty, but the other nights this week I made super basic french toast, frozen pizza and then we went out.  My house is not nearly as clean as it looks in the pictures, and my children can throw crazy fits (okay, maybe only one of them), sometimes in public.  John and I do not always get along - we are blessed to so much of the time, but there are really hard times too.  And, without Jesus, I am not a nice person.  He really is all that is good inside of me, and I want to lean on him more and rely on myself less.  Even as I type that, I experience a twinge of fear, because I know that means stepping out in faith and living more sacrificially, which sounds hard.  And I do not like doing things that are hard, but I know that God is made more perfect in my own weakness.
      If you read my little blog (thanks!), please know that I want to keep it real - and this is real.

So is this - a picture of me trying to get ready this morning and what that can entail these days.



Bella is in the sink, which she is about to turn on and drench herself, requiring a full outfit change.  Lily is delightfully trying to rearrange all of my make-up and anything else she can get her hands on or ask for.  Sometimes, like this morning, it was exhausting just to get out of the door with all of us dressed. But, that is life with two little friends under two.  I should also probably wrap this up, because, for the second day running, I am listening to our cat be stuck in Lily's room during her "nap" time.  Poor kitty.  Lily keeps laying on her, and Francie keeps pawing at the door and meowing piteously.  But I know if I go in there, then all peace will be lost, so I haven't exactly hurried to rescue the cat.

I am also linking up this post with a blog that I just discovered and love.  She has 5 kids and a sixth on the way, which really puts my life into perspective.  She does a feature called "Embrace the Camera", encouraging moms to be in pictures with their children and capture real life moments.  I think mine qualifies.