ON LEAVING MY NORMAL LIFE FOR A WEEK AND SAYING YES

In about two and a half days, I leave for Honduras.  I wandered the aisles of Wal-mart yesterday while the girls were at Mother's Day Out.  We had Community Group at our house last night, and I knew I needed to get things for dinner, as well as groceries for the rest of the week.  And then it hit me.

I will not be feeding my kiddos next week.  John and his mother will be in charge of that.  I will not be dressing them either, which means they will probably not match or wear bows every moment.  (all of which is fine)  I won't be holding them when they ask for cuddles.  I won't be laughing with them or at them.  I won't be kissing them good night.



I also will not be in charge of picking up after them or disciplining them.  I won't have to hear Bella's screams when something doesn't go her way.  The phrase, "Bella's biting me" will not follow me around Honduras next week, as it does in our home.  The only person I will have to strap into a car will be me.  I won't have to take the iPhone away from them again.  And again.



It's strange to leave my family behind for a week by saying Yes to this trip.  This is the first mission trip I have done without John since early college.  Sometimes I wonder if I will even recognize the Carol that goes on this trip without husband and children.  What am I good for when I am not in those roles?  Certainly not many things that I am practicing right now.



But, I am confident that God will use this time.  I am excited to be that carefree Carol again.  She is a lot of fun, after all.  I am looking forward to the ways that God will stretch me and use me during this trip.  I want to serve the Honduran people, and I am so thankful for this opportunity to do so.  I want to say "Yes" to things that God brings our way, and this trip is one way for us to do that.



These two little jokers will be a-okay, especially with a devoted Grandma caring for them and Daddy in the mix.  I will miss them, of course, but I believe that time away from my children is a healthy thing.  I also want them to see me serving and putting feet to the Gospel.  I want it to be tangible and real in our lives.  It is worth it.

This is the first trip I have been on in a long time that I didn't plan, and it is nice to go and know that I am not in charge.  I get to show up and serve.  I pray that the Lord blesses our work and moves in great ways during our time there.  I am glad to be saying "Yes, Lord, send me," knowing that I am a broken vessel only capable of good because of him.  Looking forward to what the Lord has in store!