Tuesday, February 26, 2013



Last week we headed to Siloam Springs for JBU Leadership Day.  John had been invited to be on a panel with a few other alumni to talk business, give feedback and provide guidance to JBU students.  I am so thankful he had this opportunity, because he loves being able to give back in this way and finds it invigorating.

I went along and hung out with the girls all day, like usual.  We spent time with Ellen and True, and I showed Ellen how to ice a cake.  There was a little movie time, there was nap time, there was whine time, there was feeding time . . . it was a pretty normal day, just in a different place - a change I am usually up for.

I draw a comparison between our days, because it occurred to me while driving back on Thursday night that this day typifies our life right now.  I have chosen to stay at home with our girls.  John has chosen to spend time working and providing for our family.  We both fell into these roles pretty naturally, because we both grew up in homes where our mothers stayed at home with us.  We did talk about this in early marriage and picture it being this way.  Though I had not always aspired to be a "stay-at-home-mom," when the time came, I seized the chance.

I am so thankful to have the opportunity to be a SAHM.  It affords me a front-row seat to my girls' lives day in and day out.  I get to be a primary influence in their little worlds.  It allows me a measure of freedom in our schedule.  Most of the time, I really love it, and I am well-suited to it.

However, it does not come without its challenges.  And, in the past 6 months, I have spent more time and energy outside of our home coordinating fundraisers and serving on the board of a non-profit.  This has been good and hard.  I really enjoy working with other adults and using some of my giftings in ways that serve a greater purpose.  The feedback and affirmation of things done well feels good.  It has reopened my eyes to the world outside of our home and even outside of CFA.  If I had chosen a different path, I could have a career and do stuff and feel accomplished.  Maybe I would be the one at Leadership Day.

Very rarely, I find myself envious of John and the opportunities he gets.  When my main job falls within our home, the two people that could give me feedback most often don't always speak in full sentences.  I measure success by how much laundry I did or didn't get done.  And usually, I didn't get it done.

I say all of this to bring it back around - I am glad that for right now, I get to stay home.  It is not for everyone, and certainly God calls each of us to different things at different times, but I am happy to say that all things considered, I am content.  I do have opportunities to serve outside of our home right now, and I am taking them for this time, especially since I know that once we have two more children, I will be more limited.  I want to be submitted to God, and I can see that being John's wife and Lily and Bella's mom is where most of my energy should go at this phase in our lives.  It fits our family well.

That may change as time goes on, and in some ways, I might welcome that.  For now, I will rejoice in the simplicity of having one working parent in our house and me running the show here.  I pray that I am able to be sensitive to what God has for us in each season.


Linds said...

I SO find myself in the same position, especially when it comes to gaining feedback. While I'm not one that thrives off of words of affirmation, sometimes I get jealous that Drew gets pay raises or verbal compliments on his work, while most of the work I do goes largely unnoticed (unless I don't do it!). Thanks for the perspective!