Sunday, January 19, 2014

DELAYED

This week, we had the babies evaluated by a local organization that tracks infant development.  At our six month doctor visit, both babies were not meeting certain motor skills markers, and that was confirmed at our Wednesday appointment.

Three different therapists were at our house for 1.5 hours smack in the middle of lunch time.  It was a little harried, and there are many questions that I need to be asking that I didn't think of in the moment.  Both babies are doing really well vocally, but they both have pretty big delays in fine and gross motor skills.  They are recommending that we do physical therapy twice a week, and my brain is now whizzing with options and questions that need to be answered.

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These are unchartered waters for our family, but not totally unexpected based on some of the twins' medical history.  The good news is that no one was doom and gloom, and we look forward to seeing their progress once they get into therapy.  They do continue to progress at home - it is just slower than it "should" be.

I've had a lot of different responses to this turn of events.  I've asked myself questions like, "Is this because I didn't give them enough tummy time?"  "How in the world will I possibly get them caught up?"  "How will I do the mounds of paperwork that face me?  Again?"

Pretty quickly, I realized that those questions were all about me.  And, though I am sure that more tummy time would have done them well - I haven't done things differently with them than I did with the older girls who did not have these issues.  The twins came with these issues, and though I wish for them that they hadn't, these delays are not the end of the world.

When I look back and see how God so clearly put them in our family and made me their mother, I know that things will work out for all of our bests.  God chose me to mother them and knew that I would be inadequate in many ways, and he gave them to me anyway.  He knew we would be the best for each other, and I find an enormous amount of comfort and grace in that.  This does not depend on me alone, and God knows exactly what is right for William and Violet.  He has known all along.

I am excited to see the twins make progress.  I am less excited about filling out paperwork, but I can see that doing an adoption did prepare me well for trying to figure stuff like this out.  In the meantime, I am praying that God will equip us all for the task in front of us.  I am continually amazed at the different curve balls that come while we parent, and I am so thankful to walk with a God who promises wisdom to those who ask for it.  And I feel a little desperate on the wisdom front.

1 comments:

Darcy Stingerie said...

I've loved reading your blog and "getting to know you" via the internet. I will be praying for the twins and their development. Give yourself grace and know that you are the best mother that they could have. I have seen that through your blog. I'll be praying for you!