Tuesday, December 30, 2014


The past few weeks have been rough with the twins.  There has been a lot of crying and screaming and not much of it was mine.  There has been illness.  There has been a major holiday which has thrown us all out of routine, and as anyone who has ever had a toddler will know from experience, routine matters.

But there have been many sweet moments as well.  I have to look harder for them, because they come at times when I least expect them or when I would have wanted to be doing something else.  Like sleeping.  In the quiet that comes with rocking an upset or sick child while the rest of the house drowses on, a feeling of gratitude has washed over me.

They call me Mama.

The precious boy with wide brown eyes and a quick giggle actually can and does call me Mama.  He hates when I leave the room and is known to cry when it happens.  He lights up when I pick him up from the church nursery.  He hugs my legs.  When given a host of options of things to do with his time and energy - toddler-hood is really an expanse of free time - he chooses to find me and cuddle me.

The precious girl with a deliciously sweet face and petite features calls me Mama all the live-long-day.  She waves her arms and legs when I come to get her out of her carseat.  She loves to cuddle.  She squeals in delight and races to the door when I come to get her.  She wants "UP" all the time.

Their lives could have been so very different.  My life could have been so very different.  In God's great sovereignty, he put us all together.  And though there are times when it is hard - so many times lately - I'm so incredibly heart-glad and grateful.  They are my children.  I don't know how I ever wondered if I could/would love them as my own.  They are unquestionably mine, and we are forever family.

We are still in the sweet time of building connection and attachment, just like any parent and child would, and for right now, they have no earthly idea that anything unusual has taken place.  John and I and Lily and Bella are all they have ever known.  Though I certainly do not dread explaining to them their story, I am thankful for the simplicity that comes with right now.  They call me Mama and for right now, it is that straightforward.

They call me Mama, and I'm so glad.



Jozi Beth said...

This a beautiful. Brought a tear to my eye. Amazing family, story, and God.

Carmen Smith said...

Oh, I love this!!!!

Kristin Murdock said...

I love this! Beautiful. So glad I got to snuggle those babies in person while they were still kinda little. xoxo