What I can say is that it looks like this birth mother's due date is farther out than we initially thought, which has obvious pros and cons. So, we will continue to wait in eager expectation for one of two things to happen. One - we will get to bring home twin baby boys (or whatever she may be carrying) or Two - we will not get to bring home twin baby boys, but we will know for sure how it turns out. At this point, it is very hard to know what will happen, though last night I dreamt that she actually had quadruplets - which was crazy.
As John and I were headed to bed, I climbed in and apologized for how cold my feet were against his legs. Then, I apologized for being a bit crazy that evening. His response,
"I hope you don't catch a cold from the ice inside your soles."
I died laughing, which I desperately needed. And that helped snap me out of it. I also reflected on the fact that parenting a 2 and 4 year old in the midst of all the information I processed yesterday was difficult, but I really am thankful for the girls. They are usually a very welcome distraction in the midst of our uncertainties. Yesterday's highlights with them were the moment that Bella laid her head on my lap for a full 25 glorious minutes - so sweet, and when Lily cut up paper into tiny little pieces and brought it to me telling me she had made her own "Pixie Dust." Sweet thing.
I am learning on a different level what it means to pray continually. I am leaning into the Lord, and for that, I am so thankful. He knows what is best for all of us involved. He is changing us through this process and helping us to rely on him, which are things we have asked for - though those are scary prayers with scary answers that look like this. I hate not knowing how this will play out, but I do trust the one who does.
And I'm going to try to keep my own drama to a minimum.
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