It's the Saturday buried between Good Friday and Easter Sunday, and I find bits of my soul buried in the muck of life. Though I am by nature an optimistic, happy-ish person, life is far harder than I ever wanted it to be. Everything that happened in our family in the last couple of weeks has been AMAZING (click here for even more of the story and adorable pictures!) but has also sapped me of strength in some ways. I've had to look up close at things that are unresolved and hard and difficult to comprehend. On the work front for John we are so thankful for the many ways that God has blessed our business, but the sheer number of people that we are regularly in contact with means that life just stays messy. I'll put it this way, we are in contact with two lawyers right now, and we may have to involve another one soon. 🤣
I've blogged about being in the dark middle part before, but now more than ever, it seems that life may just be a continuation of one long dark part. I don't mean to sound dour, but we've been promised trouble as believers. (John 16:33) I am s-l-o-w-l-y coming to grips with the ways that life will always be hard. To expect ease is to set myself up for disappointment. My flesh craves comfort, but my spirit wants to live in obedience. And obedience leads us closer to the heart of Christ. Where there is great joy, but also great heart-ache because of the ways the world is still so broken.
Let me be clear - I am grateful and joyful in so many ways. And - Sunday is coming. Jesus doesn't stay buried, and neither will I. He rose. He defeated death. Someday there will be no more tears, and we have great hope in all of these things.
We are looking forward to celebrating Easter tomorrow morning, and I know I will write a cute picture-laden blog post full of fun. But, it will only tell part of the story. We are looking for ways to carry a lighter burden - and still unsure of what that looks like for our family. So many of our choices have already been made, and they are so good, but also so hard. Until it is all done, we will wait in hope and look forward to the eternal Sunday that is coming where death has been defeated forever and always.