MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND

Our Memorial Day weekend was a mostly relaxing one, and we have officially kicked off the summer!

Saturday brought a birthday party that had been rescheduled that my girls were dying to attend.  My friend ever so kindly made everything egg-free so that Violet could partake which almost made me cry.



Saturday night took us out to our friend's house with some friends/family.  We always love getting time with W & V's biological half siblings.

On a whim, John decided to camp out with the girls on Saturday night.  He set up the tent in the greenbelt behind our house, and we traipsed out there to get them all ready to sleep.

But, something about walking into the woods in pitch black turned the girls off sleeping out there,😂 and the tent got moved to our back porch.

They had a great time and keep asking to go camping again!  On Sunday, we had plans to hang with people at a pond, but after lunch and naps, the weather got rainy, and plans changed.  Everyone ended up at our house - here's the cookie cake line.




Monday brought more canceled pool plans, but the girls compensated by playing in the rain, and the twins got a nice long nap.



However, when Violet got up from her nap, we realized that she had gotten green marker all over herself.  Apparently a rock that had been colored green had been left in her room.  Parenthood is one delightful surprise after another.

I am so thankful for the men and women who have sacrificed their lives for our country, and I don't take that for granted.  It's always good to spend some time reflecting on that on Memorial Day.  Now, we are getting our summer kicked off and hoping to get to the pool sooner rather than later!

16 ON 27: DAY IN THE LIFE: FINISHING THE SCHOOL YEAR

This is what the end of our school year looked like Friday, hour by hour.

a little before 8 a.m.: She really wasn't into taking pictures on her last day of school.  However, then she decided that she did want pictures in front of different flowers, but she still didn't actually want to smile.  Delightful.



9ish: I headed into workout class with the littles.

10:30ish:  After dropping off the twins at therapy, Bella and I ran some errands.  I do love these little one on one moments.



11:10ish:  We picked up the twins from therapy, and because William spent almost an hour crying to read books in the middle of the night, he was tired.  So was I.

12ish p.m.:  I documented the two seconds that these three were all seated at the table eating lunch at the same time.



12:30ish:  I went on a hunt for a sippy cup in the car, that I think is gone forever.  Instead of finding it, I found this molded apple under the passenger's seat.  Ick.



1ish:  Bella is quite motivated on the reading front and wants to do reading lessons, which she is breezing through.  It's amazing to watch unfold!



2ish:  I took a shower and painted my nails.  I do love a good sparkly mani.

3ish:  Bella greets Lily at the bus stop and agrees to carry home Lily's extra school supplies, probably so she can pillage them.



4ish:  I agree to cut up the watermelon they have been begging for.  Sometimes I just have to make myself say yes - especially when it is something this simple.



5ish:  We wake up the twins, who had spent a lot of time partying before finally succumbing to sleep.

6ish:  We head to eat dinner and enjoy the patio at a pizza place near our house.



7ish:  Dinner has taken a turn for the worse as we are informed that there was a glitch in the system, so our pizza had not been made yet.  Thankfully, the kiddos had eaten, but I was still really hungry!  I wish I could say that John and I handled this super graciously.  I cannot.



7:25ish:  Our pizza finally comes with many apologies on all sides, and they did give it to us for free. Though I may never recover the sanity that was taken by trying to corral the children for an extra 45 minutes.  John actually walked the kiddos to a nearby grocery store so I could eat pizza without anyone on my lap - a super kind gesture.



8:45ish:  After getting all children blessedly in their beds, John and I tackled the very last few episodes of Parks and Rec.  We loved this series!



9:30ish:  The week's events finally caught up to John, and I caught him snoozing.  We called it pretty soon after that, because Lord knows that we need rest.



No matter what happens in the fall, my days will never look quite like this again.  Bella will be heading to school, and Lily will be heading to second grade, and the twins will also have a new routine.  I wanted to capture the last bit of this season for us!

FINISHING FIRST GRADE

The school year is wrapping up, and today was Lily's last day.  (though school does go through next Tuesday, and Lily wants to go, so she may indeed have one more day.  verdict is still out. 😂)  When it came time to take our "Last Day of School" picture, she was not exactly excited about the picture.

So, we have an extremely forced smile.  She is also wearing a shirt that is several sizes too big, because I completely overlooked ordering her a field day shirt.  Thankfully, when I showed up at field day, someone was able to rustle up an extra so that she could blend in a bit more.  I am one of those moms that seems to fall apart a bit at the end of the year.  It just all seemed like so much work for us all.  😁🙈
(Here are the first day pics for comparison!)

First grade was a great year for Lily!  Her reading improved dramatically, and it was neat to see her learn what it looks like to work to meet goals.  And by "neat," I should actually say that both Lily and I learned a lot about working together and meeting deadlines and pacing ourselves.  Parenting our first child in school has definitely brought many conversations about what should be entirely that child's responsibility vs. what places parents need to push and help and teach.  Lily did step up to the plate and mostly took charge of her homework and projects, and I was glad to see her mature in time management.

After some of the drama of waking up the first week of school, we got Lily an alarm clock and put her in charge of getting herself up and dressed and fed breakfast.  For us, this worked so much better than having Mom help with those things.  First grade brought welcomed independence, new friends, missing teeth and lots of growth.

We had a great year with our teacher who'll be greatly missed.  She loved on Lily and taught her so much throughout the year, and we are so grateful.  And this morning found me heading to Target to get a teacher gift to drop off, since I seem to have totally forgotten that that was a thing I should do.

Here's to starting our summer off strong and hopefully continuing the learning and growth even in the midst of the fun!

TRAIN RIDING WITH WILLIAM

Life is funny a lot of the time, and yesterday brought a sweet little unexpected surprise.  A while back, John met someone who helps run a company here in town that has access to trains.  He told John to get in touch with him if he ever wanted to bring his son to ride the train.  Here's a word to the wise: don't tell John something like that unless you mean it!



So, Wednesday afternoon found us headed with just William to go ride a train.

William loves trains, and John has always loved trains, and seeing them get to enjoy that together was really sweet.  Unfortunately, William was a little on the young side to really appreciate everything, but he did have a great time.  Pulling the horn was a favorite activity!

We rode in the locomotive and went up and down the tracks for a couple of miles each way.  It was such a treat and unexpected surprise to have this experience all to ourselves!  The guys who run the train answered lots of questions and were incredibly friendly.

Giving our children unique experiences and individual time are some of our big parenting goals, and this checked those boxes in big ways.  William had us all to himself with no sisters running around and jumping all over everything and talking non-stop.  Since he is by far our most "chill" child, it was almost relaxing, though he is just three.

Here's to Wednesdays and trains and the sweet surprise of time spent together, this time on a train.

OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE

Life keeps ticking by, and while I am thrilled to say that most areas of our life have a lot of positive movement and growth, there are hard things that also happen.  I'm not at liberty to talk about some of the hard things, because it isn't always (or usually) appropriate to share things that happen with other people.  I try really hard to keep this blog transparently about our story, but the places where our story brushes up against other people often have to be kept to ourselves.

Which is perfectly okay, but I must say, I usually learn the most in the hard places.  Recently, I feel as if I keep getting hit over the head with the same lesson:  true humility does not come naturally.  I want life on my terms, and I want to be comfortable.  While it is easy for me to say that I want to serve and love others, at the end of the day, I find that I value my own comfort and ideas over other people.

To combat this latent and sometimes outright attitude, I've been reading Philippians 2 over and over again most mornings, hoping and praying that the words would sink through my spirit.



It's so easy to look at a situation and feel "right" and "misunderstood" and "offended."  And even if any of those words ring true, it does not change what God is asking of me.  He asks me to lower myself and imitate Christ's humility which included going to death on the cross, even though he had all the power of heaven and earth and perfection on his side.  But in my flesh, I want someone to come to me and for myself not to  have to do anything differently.  At the beginning of the year, one of the phrases that I wanted to follow in 2016 was "Live Lower."  Reading Philippians 2 and being reminded of what real love and humility looks like is the only hope I have of being able to actually live lower and essentially love better.

Another situation where this is playing out in our lives is in trying to really understand race in the context of our own city.  Yesterday, we took our family to a predominately African American church near our restaurant.  We have relationships there because of CFA and because our church has partnered with them, and we knew it would be a good opportunity to start to engage more people of color in the life of our family.

Yet, as we got ready for church yesterday morning - I've got to be honest here - we were nervous.  We knew we would have some of the only white faces there, and we felt uncomfortable thinking about how different things might feel from what we are used to.

And right then, it hit me: I'm perfectly happy for my own environment to diversify, but it is much harder to go into someone else's environment entirely.  I've almost never been a minority in my own city or country, but I need that experience.  We explained to the girls that William and Violet are often in the race minority in our lives and that we want to create opportunities for them to be in the majority.  We have so much to learn, and instead of just bringing people into our world, we realized that we need to broaden our world so we can better understand the African American culture in Little Rock.

Attending church there was a great experience, and we were graciously welcomed.  We are hoping to be able to attend there every so often and build some relationships and learn more.  But, it is going outside of our comfort zone, and I hope and pray that God give us the grace to do it well.  Sometimes things like this sound good in theory, but the actual reality of them is much harder.

I don't have a nifty little bow to wrap up this blog post, but I do know that I am a continual work in progress and that I often get it wrong.  I want more of Christ and less of me, and I have a long way to go.

EATING SOUP WITH A FORK

Serving on the board of Immerse AR really is such a privilege, because it allows me to be constantly reminded of the real needs around me.  Of the crisis.  Of the heartache.  Of the children and young adults who loose their families and never find a new one.

Wednesday took me to my own church for a luncheon celebrating graduating seniors who are in foster care.  I got to help set up and serve the food, and I got to observe with my eyes and ears and heart.  It was beautiful and heartbreaking all at once.  Each of these kids had already reached a major milestone that, statistically speaking, they were less likely to achieve than their peers who have never brushed up against the foster care system.  Celebrating and honoring that achievement took front and center at the luncheon.

The room was filled with advocates for them, and in some cases, foster families who have helped see them through.  There were tears and joy and lots of extra rolls passed around those tables.  In many ways, it echoed an average graduation experience.

But, then the keynote speaker took the stage, and she stopped me in the middle of my extra creamy, mass-produced mashed potatoes.  She was 24.  She grew up in foster care.  She is now working in the system and advocating on behalf of children.  She started her time on stage with slam poetry, and I wish that I had video of it, because her voice rising and falling in that unusual cadence sent chills straight through me.



As she spoke of her life and her experiences, one of the quotes that stuck with me was, "I was given soup, but I was given no spoon.  So I ate my soup with a fork."

She figured out a way to do something that should be impossible.  After the poetry concluded, she addressed this idea again.  "I ate my soup with a fork, and you will too."  As she pointed out, most kids are given spoons and some are even given silver spoons.  The way of life is paved for them by a loving family who set them up for success.  That did not exist in her life with her many foster placements, so she found her metaphorical fork and made a way.

She spoke of God and love and finding a support system to help bolster her journey, but she had to find her way to those things.  No one led the way.

I was given a spoon and then some on my journey, and I am certainly trying to do the same for my own children.  This week has been a good reminder that parenting is challenging, and I get it wrong seemingly all the time.  But I'm engaged and trying, and by God's grace, I love my children and get the chance to raise them.  I'm so thankful.

But I'm also so thankful to go and be reminded that so many children do not receive such benefits, and they are just as precious in God's sight as my own.  Serving in a tiny way on Wednesday showed me more of how God loves each person he creates and wants so much for them and how it is a joy and privilege to play a little role in that.

(If you want to support the work that Immerse does with former foster youth, click here!)

BETTER FAMILY FOOD CHOICES

When I wrote my New Year's post and included eating better as a family, it was anyone's guess - including my own - as to exactly what that might look like.  As the year has worn on, we are making healthier eating a lifestyle, and I am so pleased to see it coming to fruition.

Our choices haven't been drastic, but they have been consistent, and they have stuck.  For breakfast, the kiddos mostly eat Quaker Oat Squares or Protein Cheerios or homemade breakfast balls (I make them with Wowbutter, since we are peanut free) that they love.  I basically quit buying the more sugary cereals, and though I know cereal is not always an ideal choice, this is what works for us now.  I may reevaluate in the fall when we start our new routines.

For lunch, I've continued with my jar salads, which I love!  Here's a recipe for a knock-off salad from BJ's that I had a few weekends ago and loved.  It makes a great jar salad!

The kiddos lunches haven't changed much, but we've continued with lots of fresh fruits in addition to sandwiches and turkey and cheese.

The biggest change I've made for the kiddos is that we cut out fruit snacks and crackers in the afternoon.  I found that they were not much interested in eating all of dinner after packing in the goldfish all afternoon - shocker.  And, after 4 cavities between Lily and Bella with the dentist telling me that some of it was "environmental issues": read - poor parental food choices for them.  Fruit snacks were likely the biggest cavity culprit for us, and so they will now be a special occasion item instead of a daily treat.  I don't even have them at our house anymore.

Thankfully, the girls liked the dental work.  😂😂😂  I mean that sincerely - Lily had a great time and told me she felt like she was floating, and though Bella was nervous at first, she warmed up to it.  More specifically, she totally zoned out to the cartoons in the TV on the ceiling.  They both did awesome, a fact for which I am quite glad.



Instead of fruit snacks or crackers, they can have any fruit or vegetable that they would like.  I figure I can't really spoil their dinner on carrot sticks.  At dinner, I've largely cut out bread.  I realized it was easy for any of us to fill up on rolls instead of vegetables, so I've done a TON of roasted vegetables.  And, it's been amazing to see that when the kids are hungry, and the only option is roasted zucchini, they will eat and enjoy the roasted zucchini or most other vegetables - though they certainly have favorites and least favorites.

I've simplified meal planning a lot of nights and do a lean protein with sides of two roasted or steamed vegetables.  While it can be a tad boring at times - it is easy, healthy and usually pretty cheap.  I've spent a fair bit of time on Pinterest looking for recipes to add more pizzaz and have a growing collection.  Let me know if you have any great ones I should add!

WEEKEND SCENES

Our weekend was rather packed with fun - here's a quick run down.

John worked on Friday night, so I took the kiddos to eat at CFA for dinner.  It was such a gorgeous night, and we ran into dear friends on the patio where we lingered in the twilight.

We had our last official soccer Saturday of the season - the parent tunnel (with older siblings also trying to help) is always a favorite moment.

Saturday afternoon took us to our school's Spring Fling.

And after a quick Mexican dinner, John graciously let me have the rest of the evening off.  He fed this crew ice cream by the pond (because he is awesome),

and I shopped for more flowers.  I ran across these "kosmic" succulents and spent some time trying to figure out their coloring.  Then I read the tag and realized they had been painted.  Naturally.

Today, we slept in, went to 2nd service, had lunch with friends, planted flowers (not the crazy succulents) and decided to go canoeing, because the weather was calling to us.  It was so so beautiful and not to be wasted.  We bought our canoe well over three years ago when we only had two children but were planning to adopt two more.  We used it several times with the girls, but we specifically had gotten one big enough that we could add extra kiddos and have everyone together on the water.  And in the water, as Violet liked to regularly be.

Having everyone in the canoe today felt like the fulfillment of a dream - over three years in the making.  We certainly did not know that William and Violet are who would be sitting there, but seeing how God has unfolded the whole story and now taking them with us was and is such a privilege.  As a bonus - they actually had fun, which certainly made it fun for everyone else.

It's amazing to see our family start to turn some corners.  This outing was really almost entirely pleasant, from start to finish.  We had one down moment, when Bella was feeling a little scared to be on the water.  The last time we really took out the canoe was right before the twins were born, and it was a little scary.  Once I told her that she could have Sonic on our way home if she could pull it together, she did and we did.



We also got to see a train from the water, which was a huge treat for everybody - especially William.

The day could not have been more perfectly made for this activity, and we had a great time.



I'm so very thankful.  It is nice to be able to appreciate the sweet times, because we have certainly had our share of tough moments with lots of little kids.