ADIOS, 2014

I have officially dubbed 2014 as the year where I went from looking like I might possibly be a college student about to graduate to looking every single bit of my 33+ years.  All the aging, all at once.  When I look in the mirror, I see the wrinkles that I never noticed before.  More than that, I feel the wrinkles in my heart.  The back half of this year has left me overly ripe and bruised, and I would not wish to repeat it in a hurry.  Or ever.

As John and I reflected back a few days ago, he did remind me that we had fun at the beginning of 2014.  There was our trip to Disney World with the girls in Feb.

We had an amazing trip to Mexico sans children.



We went to North Carolina to visit family.



We went to Kansas City to see the Dodgers who are like family.



John rightly pointed out that for several months in a row, we did something really fun for almost a week of each month.  The fun didn't totally dry up in July, but it definitely stayed more local after that.  We all survived Lily starting kindergarten.

We had fall fun and visited several pumpkin patches and had an adorable Bug Squad for Halloween.




Things were made pretty crazy by the addition of another newborn in our life - a second restaurant to call our own.  The pursuit and takeover of the second store have taken an enormous amount of time and attention - especially from John.  Things have gone remarkably well, and we are so grateful, but we certainly look forward to re-balancing our family and work lives.



I made a LOT of cookies this year - to the tune of over 1,200.  I have loved it, but I will likely take on a few less in the new year, because there are only so many hours in the day.



We survived the twins' first full year and ushered in their full-blown toddler hood.

Lily and Bella turned 5 and 4 and are growing into themselves all the time.

Obviously, looking back through the pictures makes me feel nostalgic and thankful.  2014 has brought so much good, and I thank the Lord for his overwhelming graciousness towards our family.  Even the hard is good, though I never wish for it.  Though we are tired and aged and ready for a realignment of life, we wouldn't change what it brought.  We've been given so many gifts.  They come with a lot of responsibility that we don't take lightly, but they are good gifts.

So - adios, 2014.  We are looking forward to whatever 2015 holds and praying that the Lord gives us more of his heart for people and himself.

THEY CALL ME MAMA

The past few weeks have been rough with the twins.  There has been a lot of crying and screaming and not much of it was mine.  There has been illness.  There has been a major holiday which has thrown us all out of routine, and as anyone who has ever had a toddler will know from experience, routine matters.

But there have been many sweet moments as well.  I have to look harder for them, because they come at times when I least expect them or when I would have wanted to be doing something else.  Like sleeping.  In the quiet that comes with rocking an upset or sick child while the rest of the house drowses on, a feeling of gratitude has washed over me.

They call me Mama.

The precious boy with wide brown eyes and a quick giggle actually can and does call me Mama.  He hates when I leave the room and is known to cry when it happens.  He lights up when I pick him up from the church nursery.  He hugs my legs.  When given a host of options of things to do with his time and energy - toddler-hood is really an expanse of free time - he chooses to find me and cuddle me.

The precious girl with a deliciously sweet face and petite features calls me Mama all the live-long-day.  She waves her arms and legs when I come to get her out of her carseat.  She loves to cuddle.  She squeals in delight and races to the door when I come to get her.  She wants "UP" all the time.

Their lives could have been so very different.  My life could have been so very different.  In God's great sovereignty, he put us all together.  And though there are times when it is hard - so many times lately - I'm so incredibly heart-glad and grateful.  They are my children.  I don't know how I ever wondered if I could/would love them as my own.  They are unquestionably mine, and we are forever family.

We are still in the sweet time of building connection and attachment, just like any parent and child would, and for right now, they have no earthly idea that anything unusual has taken place.  John and I and Lily and Bella are all they have ever known.  Though I certainly do not dread explaining to them their story, I am thankful for the simplicity that comes with right now.  They call me Mama and for right now, it is that straightforward.

They call me Mama, and I'm so glad.

CHRISTMAS 2014: HIGHS & LOWS

Christmas has come and gone, just like that, in a proverbial blink.  This time the blink felt a bit prolonged and like we might have pink eye.  Christmas was so good - it was Christmas - how could it be any other way?  But, we came home a bit on the sick side and still feel a bit hungover.  But I don't blame Christmas - Christmas couldn't help it.  I blame life.  Here's the high/low run down.

High: My mom flew to Little Rock and helped me wrap up the last several days here, which were crammed full of cookies and holiday happenings.  Having her help and stabilizing presence was such a gift.  She had also made these Christmas outfits for the girls, and this is the best picture I could get of them.  It's too bad my children have no personality.

Low:  Our drive to Wichita was B A D.  We wore ear plugs the last half, because Violet would not stop screaming.  So there's that.

High:  Having lots of family around to play with (and see movies with!).  Cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents are such fun.

Low:  The twins both had extreme rough patches throughout the week.  John even missed out on a couple of events (after he arrived via plane on Christmas Eve Eve), because William was inconsolably screaming.  Violet was also pretty miserable at times, but it later turned out that she had an ear infection and pneumonia, so that made a little more sense.  Being 20 months old is just "a rough life" as Bella would say.

(Lily did come to the rescue on Christmas Eve by coaxing W out of his fit with Peek-a-Boo Barn on the phone.  She's a great big sister.)

High:  We celebrated Jesus's birthday.

High:  Sibling game night.  We laughed a lot - we did miss Mike and Ash this evening!





Low:  My sister and also my step brother both got a stomach bug on Christmas Eve.  The only good thing about this is that God spared the rest of us miraculously.

High:  Christmas morning.  Despite all of the chaos, it really was a good morning.  Stockings and presents were opened.

Delicious breakfast was consumed that included two kinds of cinnamon rolls (perks of a blended family - who doesn't win when there are a couple varieties?), breakfast casserole and mimosas.

Kids young and old had fun.


(my beautiful siblings.)

(Not in focus, but too cute to leave just on the computer.)

(William got stuck like this for a while.  He loves that cat.)

High:  Some of us girls went to see Into the Woods after bedtime on Christmas night, which was such a fun outing.




As I mentioned in the beginning, we are still a bit hungover from everything.  I'm recovering from a cold, and Violet is slowly mending with a lot of breathing treatments (so fun for everyone involved) and an antibiotic.  As I reflect on the week, I am so grateful that Jesus did come down to this mess of a place, because it feels messy right now.  And he came and died just to make it all right again.  I'm so thankful.



So - that wraps up this year's Christmas.  It was good, but I wouldn't necessarily want to do it all over again!

GINGERBREAD HOUSE: #NAILEDIT

We are in the midst of a fun Wichita Christmas with all of my family.  Yesterday, we decorated a gingerbread house.  I used to do elaborate completely from scratch gingerbread houses and loved doing it.  Since the advent of several children and a cookie business, time for this has gone by the wayside.  Also, trying to do something perfectly with children is an exercise in futility, so we did this gingerbread house perfectly their way.

It was a bit chaotic, and they loved it.

Violet kept entertained by this dancing Santa.

We did other baking as well with Aunt Laura's help.



And this is how the gingerbread house turned out.  I'm pretty sure we nailed it.  Kid's kept snatching candy off the sides, which really enhances the look.

Another Christmas fun item crossed off the list to everyone's great delight.  Maybe someday we will make elaborate gingerbread houses again.  Until then, we'll rock the kits.