What happens when a kid ages out of state care with no family?
Where do they go? Who do they turn to? How do they make a life for themselves?
I'm sorry to report that I had not thought much of this until the last year, even with a degree in Social Services. In fact, I probably would have scored negatively on the compassion scale, because I would have tended to blame these people for their issues once they were "adults." I mean, come on. Make better choices. Get an education. Get a job. Get married. Stay married. Make better choices.
What it has taken me a long time to realize is that people with hard beginnings in life do not have the same options that I do. It is not as simple as make better choices and go to school and your life will fall into place. Children that bounce around foster care and in and out of their biological family suffer greatly. They do not have security. This affects their brain chemistry - sometimes permanently. They inherit negative coping skills that are hard, if not impossible, to shake. They do not learn how to form healthy relationships.
And when they turn the magic number of 18, they are given the choice to get out of the system, even if no permanent family situation has been found. They want out, because often, they've had a bad run. At 21, they are out, no matter what. It is estimated that almost 10% of all youth in foster care exit the system in this way (Fostering Connections). And they never find a family.
I would argue that these kids are still orphans. One of the definitions of an orphan is "one deprived of some protection or advantage" (Webster). These kids fall into that category. They do not have advantages. They do not have protection, and the stats are grim. Studies show that approximately 40% of those aging out of care will experience homelessness before the age of 24.
Let's contrast all of this with my life (and the lives of many people I know). When I turned 18, my parents told me they wanted to give me more freedom, so that I could experience being an adult while still living at home. They helped pay for my college degree at the university of my choice. They were there when I needed to ask questions. They were there when I overdrew my checking account the first time. And the second. And the third. They helped me learn, and they told me I would succeed and be able to do anything I wanted to do. Ultimately, they showed me God's love and pointed me to him, and it was easy for me to trust God, because I had parents that routinely reflected his love to me.
I had options. I had a world full of choices, and I was set up for success is almost every possible way.
Life is not fair.
Here's Shundreka's story.
Shundreka is just one story. She is precious. She is a beloved child of God. I have had the privilege of meeting her, and she is a joy to know. She is the face of the orphan. She was left behind, but she found hope, ultimately through God, but he used Immerse Arkansas to be his hands and feet.
I joined the board of Immerse Arkansas this fall and immediately began coordinating a fund-raising banquet. After all, taking care of people is never a cheap endeavor, and we knew that the church needed to answer the call to this often-forgotten orphan group. Here's the second video that we showed at the banquet that gives an overview of the program and tells Ed's story.
Their stories are powerful, and it is amazing to see the redemption happening. Redemption is always such exciting God sized work to watch.
Stay tuned -
1 comments:
Here is my story. My parents divorced and gave me to my fathers parents at age 4. I saw my biological mother upon occasion but was told by my raging possesive grandmother to call her by her first name. My father became my brother. He was a drug addict and mj exporter from nepal. I wanted to be like him. I was shown no love, verbal and physical abuse, and couldn't get out of my bedroom. My bio mom married again and had another daughter. She brought her over and said this is your step sister. Depression hit why her and not me. I had only one friend as a kid but that was short. I have never fallen in love. I married twice with no love. I had children but had to give them to their fathers. I didn't know what being a mother entailed. Any relationship has only been short term maybe 5 years at the longest. I was a wreck for years. It's been within the past few years that my life changed turned around. My love of God, the holy trinity, and especially the virgin mother has increased. Mary became the mother I never had. I knew I needed to volunteer and continue to do so. I'm 60 and want to have friends as family but trusting others enough for that is hard. I have epilepsy to add to it and that compounds it. Orphanhood does not only mean foster homes. It's also for those given to grandparents, aunts, uncles to adobt and raise. I have no family, I am alone but I reach out to help others. I have had to raise myself with the help of God.
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