Thursday, December 20, 2012

SENTIMENT DOESN'T SATISFY

Today's the day before the "cosmic shift" predicted by the Mayans.  It's the day before a cookie exchange that I am hosting and really need to pick up my house for.  It's the day before one of my best friends from high school's birthday (Hi, Erin, hope we all live to see you turn 32!).  Today is right in the heart of the glitz and fun of the Christmas season.

But my heart is heavy today.  There's a cancer diagnosis of a woman my age.  There's this story of a woman that I don't know personally but have 41 mutual Facebook friends with and keep having it thrust upon my heart to pray for her.  The headlines of the funerals in Newton are heartbreaking.  The plight of the orphan is more real to me than ever before as we walk through this adoption process.  Where are my sons?  What about their birth family?  How will they celebrate Christmas?

I'm craving things that are not offered in this world.  The sentiment of the season does not satisfy.  I want more.

I want the peace on earth that is promised for someday in the future of God's choosing.

I want the God of the universe to be near to those who are suffering.  I know he is, but sometimes it is hard to see.

I want no more sickness and no more death.  No more orphans.

Now that my heart is really breaking for some of the things that break God's heart, I can see that the Christmas fluff is just that.  Fluff.  Not bad, especially in its place.  There are so many good places for celebrating, decking the halls and decorating cookies.  But, my heart is not the right place for those things.  My heart is reserved for the Savior.  The one who came to a world that didn't have room for him but needed him so desperately.

It's hard to be melancholy with children around the house.  They are crying, but it is for different reasons.  Like the fact that Cinderella got turned off by the younger sister.  Or like cereal being spilled all over the floor.  Or like having your head hurt after you have banged it into the wall, on purpose.  I can't sit and mope and moan in the midst of all this, which is better for all of us.  I get to look at my own little reality and be thankful for the health and joy of today.  I get to pray for those who are hurting while I ice cookies and hurt with them.  I get to try to show Christ's love to my daughters even when I don't feel it.  I get to wait with anticipation for the day of Christmas and celebrating Christ's coming to earth.

I also get to drag these little ya-hoos to lunch, where they entertained much of the restaurant by doing their "Begge" (pronounced Beg - e) dance.

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So that sums up this Thursday before the apocalypse.  Linking up with The Anderson Crew!

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