Thursday, December 13, 2012


Time for an update.  Lilynocerous and Bellapotomus have been in full effect lately.  I found myself bemoaning this today to the other moms that I often do lunch with.  The girls feel very intense right now.  It's almost like someone is screaming at me from morning to night.  Actually, it is exactly that some days.

And often, I don't really know what to do.  After having had a screamer for round one, you would think that I would have it down.  But, I don't.  When Bella is screaming "NO!" at me regularly, I still feel like a deer caught in the headlights.  What should I do?  How should I respond?  It doesn't help that we are often with other people.  Since delayed consequences are lost on her so far, I feel a little trapped.  And that is just where we are.  Trapped and screaming.


However, with a child of such intensity comes so many truly great moments as well.  She does everything whole-heartedly.  Bella gives the best hugs in the world.  She has the biggest smile and the best dance moves.  She loves with her whole self, and it warms my heart like few other things have the power to do.


It is mind-boggling how different the girls are from one another.  While Bella is aggressively intense, Lily is more likely to be dramatically intense.  It may take 15 minutes and a truck-load of tears to get dressed in the morning.  Did you know how hard it can be to put pants on?  So hard.


The parenting of this takes more finesse than I yet have in my arsenal.  I was not prepared for self-righteousness to creep in so early, like when Lily said, "I never do anything bad to my sister.  She bites me and hits me (which is true), and I never do anything mean to her."  How do you explain to someone so young that the attitudes in our hearts are more important than the sum of our actions?  I am still learning this in my own life.

Lily is actively planning her "Horse Party" that she has been talking about for months now.  She is so excited about it.  I am too, truth be told.  She wants to turn 4 and be a "Big Girl."  She loves to help me bake.  She is extremely imaginative - helped by the fact that she stopped napping almost two years ago and spends about two hours in her room everyday talking to her animals, reading her books aloud and building scenes with her Legos.  This is great time for both of us.


Staying home with them is truly a gift.  Though there are hard moments aplenty, I am glad to be the biggest influence in their lives right now.  It draws me to the Lord and shows me the end of myself quickly.  I am regularly presented with challenges I never expected.  I often have to say things I never thought I would say, i.e. "Don't lick _____."  That blank is routinely filled with all manner of disgusting things with both girls.

People out in public tell me all the time to enjoy this time.  That it is flying past.  That I have my hands full.  That I will miss it when it's gone.  I know they are speaking truth.  This season of intensity will be short lived.  I will not always have a Bella that wants to sleep with 15 books, a cow hat and half of the nativity set.  Lily won't always put her Lambie to nap on a blanket spread wide on the floor while singing "Happy Birthday" or "Jingle Bells" year round.

I feel like this is the narrative of motherhood and the challenge is to enjoy it, see the blessing and trust God with the hard moments.  That takes more dependency on the Lord than I currently have, but I am asking for it.  That's the best I can do.

And I really do love the little ladies in my life.


Linds said...

love this. and we have meltdowns over outfits here too, even with boys. Who knew it would be a battle to actually wear PANTS when it's 30 degrees outside?!?! Mercy.

Mom Spenst said...

Carol, you are on the right track. Asking the Lord to teach you to be dependent on Him is very powerful, and He is at work doing just that in your life in ways you know not of.